Told them to get a job today or move out 

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Short Story Sample #001 (conservative comedy) 

The time my house was not a homeBy Paul House
It was late, my family and I had just returned from a wonderful evening at their grandmother’s humble abode sharing dinner and laughter, when an unusual whirring could be heard coming from the front porch towards the left side of the house. With my sound judgement, and rational thinking, I was aware that strange things always tend to come from the left, so it would be in my best interest to check things out. 
I step outside and to my amazement, there was what appeared to be a man in a dress holding a gun, I let out a reflexive gasp in disbelief at the sight. My sudden gasp first drew his attention to me, then the aim of the gun at my mid-section followed. “I am Jennifer and I am here to take your things!” He shouted. He began approaching me, motioning for me to walk backwards into my own home. I walked until the back of my leg hit the arm of the couch in the living room. My wife and two children sat on the couch watching the entire scene unfold. I could see my entire life flash before my eyes because I was not able to protect myself since the Democratic Party took office and made all firearms illegal due to safety reasons being more important than rights. I was forced to surrender my firearm. I began to wonder why isn’t Jennifer adhering to the rules as well then too, did she not understand that the law is the law and it applies to everyone! It’s like criminals don’t follow the rules, such a shame. 
“GIVE ME ALL YOU GOT! IN THE BAG! EACH AND EVERYONE OF YA!” Jennifer barked. Both of my children began to cry and ask why is a man in a woman’s dress robbing us. “TELL YOUR CHILDREN TO USE MY NAME OR MY PROPER PRONOUNS WHEN ADDRESSING ME!” Jennifer exclaimed. As Jennifer took a step forward to grab the items she had demanded, she slipped on the edge of the carpet, hitting her head on the coffee table. This allowed me enough time to gather my family and make a break towards the closest room, the bathroom, and lock my family and myself inside. Grumbling could be heard from outside the locked door. “I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE IN THE BATHROOM BUT I CANNOT ENTER TO GET YOU GUYS BECAUSE I’VE HIT MY HEAD AND AM UNSURE OF WHAT GENDER I IDENTIFY AS TODAY! IM LEAVING!” And that’s the time I was almost robbed by a gender fluid individual in my own home, a situation that came way out of left field. 

The Real Report: The Burger King Whopperrito

The “King of Whoppers” have outdone themselves this time around. Burger King does an amazing job at packaging the taste of poverty in a tortilla, at first bite you are taken back to the days of payday being 3 days away with only instant ramen noodles being available in your cabinets. With every chew you get the full flavor of bad decisions and currency well wasted. 

To dissect the sandwich, an underpaid employee takes 1 whopper patty and begins to tear it into smaller pieces as if to feed a small animal. Next, they grab stolen Taco Bell mild sauce and smear that shit on an overly doughy tortilla with soggy lettuce and tomato. Remember that time the condom had broken but you kept going because you were way too sauced to care? Remember when you wanted the name brand item but your card would get declined if your tried to purchase it so you were forced to get the off-brand? Hey, why go to chipotle and spend $8 for a decent meal when you can spend $3 and gaurentee a terrible time?  

That’s basically the Whopperito in a nustshell, a lazy attempt at staying relevant with so much innovation and competition in the food industry. This is currently strike number 2 for the King of Burgers as the “Mac and Cheetos” released prior, the meal that tasted like everything else that was fried in the same deep fryer, failing to taste like anything other than poop in colorful packaging.

 
Rating: 5 star Super saiyan trash

October 29th 2015

What are the odds
What are the odds that I ended up here, out of all of the places I could have been 
What about falling in love with the feeling of falling in love 
The “what ifs” of every situation kept me so sedated from actually living in the moment I began to get sidetracked from who I was. I wasn’t making memories if I wasn’t making mistakes. Being on the fence about something is worse than being on either side of an issue or situation. Incidentally, at the very minimum if you chose the incorrect path, you can see your fault, and reroute. You have the opportunity to analyze the mindset before hand that led you to this path and from there make the nessecary adjustments, but if you chose to wither away standing in the same spot you started, because of anxiety, angst or fear, thinking you will never lose anything if you never try, you will lose time. Time, or the theory of, is one of the greatest assets bestowed to us. Time is a blank canvas, you can draw your life. We may have different canvases but I can choose what I want my final product to look like when I finally check out of life and say I’m done. Color my life, because we’ll never be these kids again.

Photography Journey #001

Seriously considering taking up photography and seeing how that works out for me as a new hobby, all are previous iPhone pictures I’ve taken, any and all feedback, hints, tips and constructive criticism are welcomed. Any input on a good starting dslr model and make would be very appreciated, also whether to go the new or used route. There’s more on my IG.

Instagram: weegeeonethree

Can you see the stars from Hell? 

Hate those relationships where you lose yourself in another person, not in a good way either, the ones where you slowly become bitter and overweight just settling everyday, drifting further and further away from happiness, just slipping between the cracks of society and life, where most of us end up. 

Bad relationships are dead-end jobs. All of the motivation and positive outlooks that you can ever have wont be enough to cover the small canvas a bad relationship offers. Bad relationships are bad foundations. Looking back to the dead-end job analogy, imagine my goal is to eventually make a million dollars(a million dollars being a figurative representation for happiness), but I have chosen employment at a fast food chain. Day in and day out I could do everything required of me to be the best fast food chain cashier in the nation, but still fall short of making anything near a seven-figure salary. 
Relationships are about the potential the union and bond possesses and the potential you personally possess. When both you and another person(s) are genuine in efforts to reach goals, the stars align and the possibilities of reaching true happiness and beyond are unlimited. Bad relationships are employer/employee type relationships. They are “what do you have to offer” relationships(employer) in exchange for temporary benefit(monetary paycheck at the end of the week that will never allow you to reach your million dollar goal). Great relationships are joint endeavors that go beyond just being a job, they are the “career relationships.” 
Too many people get into a relationship to fill a temporary void of being lonely, or looking lonely, this is the equivalent of taking a job just so you can pay bills. If you had the discipline to save money (build personal high-self esteem), you wouldn’t feel the need to jump at every job opportunity a.k.a. “that person you shouldn’t date but you do just because you feel like you can’t do better.” 
Even though hell is dark, you still can’t see the stars at night.