Relationships might not be for me

Relationships are equations with entirely too many variables. There’s you, me, your ex, mine, your parents, relatives, friends, strangers, potential soulmates… How did we end up together? Nothing last forever, yet we have this idea in the first chapter of us that this story is never ending. Is love the glue that holds our book together? 

Boredom, repetition, endurance, love, love, love. Love is starting to become this catch all, magical, bandage word that once you say it, everything is going to be okay again, but it isn’t. Love is tentacles and anchors. Love lets me overlook, love lets me down, love lifts me up. I planted seeds in you and watched them grow into a tree and you expect me to just leave? 

I like being alone. Single variable, I can change when I want, become apart of different formulas with varying results. I’m not tied to anything, it’s a great feeling. Maybe love is a library, and everyone is just borrowing a new feeling from a new person. I loved dinosaurs, cars, trains, sports growing up and everything changed so rapidly. Maybe you’re right for me right now and not later. 

I don’t like traditional. I’ve owned material items longer than I’ve been in relationships, what does this say about me? I love myeself, I love life .. Why do I need to love you too? 

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