The bull and the Lilly of the valley

She grows so weary of herself. She begins to see the confusion within her heart and soul. You see, the two are opposites, when they shouldn’t be. Her heart shields itself by not allowing her to break through verbally but rather physically, so that transfers to her brain, making it hard to decipher the significance of her emotions. 

The dilemma in her life are the bars that remain firmly planted on her heart. There’s a secret to these bars and her emotions. Within these bars lie millions of electrical shocks, called fear; she fears and expects the worst from people, and yet her heart and mind continue to amplify with trust, while fear always had a funny way of showing up in her life’s endeavors, those electrical bars clench tight, hence making her heart and mind deviagate from trusting and loving with positivity. 

Her lungs become deadly, the bars suddenly stretch out to them, forming a human’s hand that’s squeezes a sponge without difficulty. Her breaths become shallow, and her neck tenses up becoming a brick within her body that is rattled by her heart’s desire to expand. 

Her legs become her worst enemy. They disrespect gravity and collapse as she forces her self to walk on in life. Yet, she still arises; and in that moment, her fingers become numb, and her stomach becomes stronger than the currents from all seven seas combined.

She gives herself a few silent moments to reflect on her body’s malfunction. Then she gets up! As if it never happened. She’s still weary, and a little more wiser than she was yesterday. 

She stares into the mirror, and wonders what may be a problem within her image. Until she realizes there’s none to point out. She smiles and realizes her body isn’t the dilemma, she then feels the bars loosen, just before she becomes aware that they’re clenching once again. As she tries to work on her heart, it grows weak with fear and loathing of the challenges that her emotions put her through. 

She walks with so much pride, and respect for herself, she knows she’s beautiful in her own way. She sees her worth, yet she’s troubled and scared. 

Her goal in life, is to be freer than birds when they fly, she holds herself tight yet wants to open herself up. 

She doesn’t know how. Because the bars clench harder every time she’s happy. They give her reasons to doubt, to not trust, to assume, and to contradict. 

Her tears become puddles of her own reflection, the only difference is, while she cries, she visualized how things could’ve have gone so much better, had it not been for the electrical bars. 

She works on herself daily, she wakes up in the morning with positive thoughts, yet there the bars are every morning waiting for her heart to beat a little faster than it normally would, because that’s what fear does to you. 

She’s used to letting go of things, people, and situations, because she’s never been the kind of individual to dwell on a lot. She fears crying because in her upbringing, she realized that others have held things in, and that maybe, somehow, it would be normal to execute that in her life, which brought in her build up. But when her heart finds just a little more room to dilate just a tad bit more, she gives her best shots at fighting her own electrical bars, because she is aware that these certain things, people, and situations can be apart of a greater meaning of life, and she holds them so close and dearly, while pushing the the limited bars out more to love them so hard. 

Yet, the bars await. 


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