She doesn’t like being upset with them .
It seems inside her blood, there’s a bailey
She can’t be knocked down,
Yet her knees buckle when she thinks of them.
She doesn’t like having the feelings she does.
The numb days. They were the best.
But they could never have the effect on her like these heart beats do.
They’re not regular
They skip, they bring happiness and whirlpools in her stomach
That makes her so sick, she wished that they weren’t there
But often ponders as to what would happen if they weren’t there.
That’s when she begins to realize she’s wrong.
Her arms and legs become clingy
Remaining ready at all times to squeeze with so much affection.
Still, the numb days didn’t bring her lungs to the verge of collapsing
And her heart didn’t run a mile a minute when something didn’t go the way it usually would.
She didn’t care
And now she does.
Trying to lock her heart in a chastiy belt specially built for her heart.
But it’s gained too much love, and is now too big to fit it.
She’s angry that she’s allowed herself to be this vulnerable.
She had gotten so good at keeping her emotions in shallow waters.
But now? The sun has evaporated all of the water and has rays of love shining from it.
She can’t TAKE IT! She feels so janus-faced.
It’s making her worried, scared, happy, and anxious all in one.
Until she realizes,
It shouldn’t be that deep.
But her heart.
It beats so hard that it creates shock waves that can be felt thousands of miles away.
She’s very cautious she doesn’t trust that easily.
Now more than ever, she’s having doubts on top of doubts
Her anxiousness is the result of not being fully reassured the way she wants to be.
So now, she’s thinking more than she should and it’s bothering her.
Distractions will be her new hobby.
She can’t keep wearing her heart on her sleeve.
She’ll get hurt.
Patiently waiting and knows that when she gets where she wants, and sees who she wants,
All of that, will fly out of the window of uncertainty.