Perfection in an imperfect society

Professional pretender how i adore you

I couldnt ever retain anger towards something so beautiful

My heart is crippled by the tight grip you have around it

The adrenaline puts my body in place and gets me ready to start;

Start a race between my heart and a car

My heart’s valves pumps blood speedily, giving this dodge an unfair take off. Horse power couldnt ever be compared to the stars that sneak their way through my cells into my heart, in my mind,

making them project through my eyes. 

How i long to taste your wonderful imagination continously with no intermjsson.

Yet my past is the one to blame

Self love is not a dilemma on my behalf, for insecurities of unfaithfulness strike my beating organ, making it pause, while my visual cortex takes over, munipulating my tears, when the smallest doubt comes into mind

I still crave, and attempt to trust you with the blindest faith known to man.

You wouldn’t hurt me… 

As far as my own fear would want to deny, I have hope in you 

Whiplash comes about even when your name is spoken. 

Nights under a sky is all that is ever needed to be reminded that life is too fast 

To stay angry at the past.

My body lingers in bed forcing memories to project against the walls of my eyes. 

Legs wrapping around a waist

 and arms get a little taste 

Of what a perfect wide back feels like when fingertips graze against the smallest form of a circle on the left hand side of a shoulder.

Stay here

That was all i could whisper to myself when you’re not near.

The scooped spoon imprint in ice cream formed on a neck is the perfect spot for a smooth chin that longs to be touched by the blood pressure of one that couldn’t possibly understand what her legs feel like when he’s simply breathing.

Gasps for air conditioning one to settle with small reps of limited breaths, 

You couldn’t understand love as such jf you’re not an alien; for only the two can comprehend what intellectual fireworks look like


-on a beach .

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Confusion and heart beats bleed for love. Enlighten the two. 

If comfort had multiple words put into one, it would be ineedyoutohelpmehelpyouhelpme

Ironically people are meant to work together instead of bickering back and forth. It’s hard to do that when there’s multiple red flags provoking your thoughts to think in a negative manner, when you try your hardest to do the opposite. 

It lingers.

It sticks with you.

It seems as though life really is a competition; a competition on who’s been hurt the hardest, the most, followed by who has bigger bragging rights on how to deal with something and how to react on it because it’s how they would react. We’ve all come to the conclusion that it’s best to not deal with something if it takes too much effort to put behind it, yet not being able to detach yourself is a reason of interest. What’s there to lose? 

A lot.

Humans, are naturally contradictors, and hypocrites; but let someone put us out of our way when we’re doing something. They’ve automatically become a problem. That right there is a dilemma in itself. People are selfish, and when it’s not beneficial to them, at that very moment, frustration and suspicion begin to arise. Because no one wants to deal with continuously addressing an issue that should’ve been resolved a long time ago. 

Make the tables turn.

Thats when everyone will understand each other. But people are lazy. Even the go getters. Emotions are irrelevant to them, yet, it’s what they live off of half the time because they’re so busy, when love comes around, it’s something they grasp onto because there’s a deep genuine gesture on both sides. Until someone doesn’t want to deal with circumstances and conditions. 

But we have to do that in our daily lives. . . . . 

Why is it that when an individual requests the same exact thing in return, for their comfort, a quarrel starts? 

Because compromising is almost as dead as chivalry. 

A feeling within, is a feeling that could never be denied. A doubt boiling at the depths of your stomach is a thought that should be taken into consideration because all puzzles aren’t presented. Some pieces are being hidden, and others have be incorrectly cut to fit another part of the puzzle, packing loads and loads of inconvenience. 

Why build the puzzle then ? 

Because it’s worth it. It’s something worth building. 

You can’t put a puzzle together alone when it takes two brains to piece it together, communication to execute plans for sizes and pieces to click right in where they’re supposed to be, and two hearts to lock it in place to keep it together.

The Room

Photo: (Street Walkers – Aaron Johnson)


Anxiety and depression wrapped neatly in the corner creeping closer

I might die in this room 

Or you might lead the way out 
Either way I’m here and you are too
Before I panicked because things changed,

And currently worry because I don’t know if they’ll ever go back to the way they were

What do these memories mean?


The same way I invite people in to ruin my life

I can find purpose in the pain if I work through it 

You see the best in people 

I expect the worst 

Can we meet somewhere in the middle 

The only other option was death or a dull life, I kept going

Never fall victim to the vices set before you, posted at every milestone

Forever uncomfortable 

living in-between the lines 

Funny how people never get around to living life 

The spider, the fly, and the witness 

Looking back at the life you never had 

It’ll eat you alive in the end.

Live with it, or change it…. gradually :) 

The smallest things count, yet at the very same parallel moment, they don’t. 

Have you ever wondered if saving the world, is something that really should be considered ? 

Let’s put it like this, 

America, the great, the brave, the strong slogan “united we stand” but they never mentioned individually you fall if you can’t keep up.

By keeping up I’m connoting the realization of the way America presents international problems as their own, when in reality, it isn’t, it’s because they’re nosy.

In certain cases of course. 

Don’t waste food, kids and people as a generality are suffering in third world countries, so it’s placed on our shoulders to care and to not let a grain go to waste. Yet the obesity levels in America is astonishingly saddening. While putting meals together and delivering them to those that are really in need is a problem if there’s not a dime involved. 

Ever seen avatar ? 

The same method of Andrew Jackson, and seemingly the same method that President Donald Trump is presenting, subconsciously, to others, there’s no sign of coequalness. People are being told that social media will give you all of the news you need to hear or learn about, but, it’s hard to stay engrossed when the same thing is happening on there too. Yet people enjoy it, makes you wonder are human brains getting smaller? 

Wars are being threatened with, when in reality, there’s billions of people at stake, lives that could be lost, that could be transitioned from excellent to a nightmarish hell. 

Social media has made it a habitual thing to make fun of the world’s devistating news. The intentness is on the humor more than it is on the seriousness of situations that the “United States of America” is faced with. 

While in the long run, people confabulate about world peace and thoughts that could be made into a reality through time, effort, and plans that are set up to be executed. 

The faith I have within humanity, it’s sickening sometimes, but I believe that one special day, the façades of the mask wearers will be exposed and their insecurities would be something that could be worked on, instead of ridiculed by the same people that feel the same things as them, if not deeper. 

My observation of Faye part 2

“You ready?” Her breaths came as a shock to me, I’d never thought that once in my life I’d see her breathe this hard, I haven’t even penetrated her yet. “You sure?” Faye laughed, speaking so gently, as if she wasn’t just breathing harder than a marathon runner. “Yes Lucas, I’m ready.” I reached for her hand, but there was that feeling again; she smiled and put her arm over her chest, and muttered “well, what’s wrong with me this time?” “Nothing” I said, “It’s just, you’re really going to let this happen?” I didn’t think that you and I would, you know, be here doin- wait, you were breathing hard like that because you’re nervous?” That was it. Bingo. She was scared, she kept covering her chest and her eyes, and didn’t want me to touch her yet until she was ready. “Come lay down with me, let me explain something to you Lucas, in detail.” She caught me off guard but I did as she said anyways. “Give me your hand, and please tell me what you feel.” She began to smile, “stop being such a lion heart, feel my hand and tell me what you feel.” I began to grow a little nervous because I had never taken the time to fully analyze how her hands are so much smaller than mine, yet they’re so strong but softer than a child’s cheek. The way her hand fit into mine, was as if it belonged there, purposely belonged there. 

I started to get scared now, because she was everything I could ever dream of, and ye- “Just because we make love tonight does not mean I will be chasing after you okay? I. Don’t. Chase. I don’t compete either. So remember that, because you have one time to slip up, now tell me how beautiful I am, and make my dreams into a reality.” All I could do was laugh. Her confidence, her spunk, she wasn’t God’s gift to men, but her smile and her spirit made it all worth it to say she was. “Faye?” “Yes Lucas?” “I- I love you.” “Don’t just love me, but enjoy me while you love me. I’m only here for a certain amount of time, make it useful.” When she put that into perspective, a sort of an anguished feeling began to grow within my abdomen. “Why would you say that?” She chuckled “because you can get any little girl you’d like, but not me. You have to work for my love, I’m not going to just give it to you, Prince Charming. You can fool them but not me. So because I’m making you realize my worth, I’m letting you know that you need to take advantage of it now before I’m gone tomorrow, or whenever the reaper calls on me. You won’t be able to do it when I’m dead now would you?” 

The girl made a point. 

I will forever love her, and won’t ever stop. 

Short and sweet 


The worlds way of showing us how simplicity is really the cure to a multitude of mislead souls, we’ve been stuck in the one track minded mental, brought to think that whatever anyone else is doing, we must do better, and boast about it through a façade of humbled behavior.. that’s not the wave… sad to say that we all get stuck in it at some point in time, it’s up to you whether you stay stuck in a circled drain mentality, there’s ups and downs to every situation; for we might not know why and how, we all get frustrated and perplexed. Yet in those moments most of us cling to the, what we’d like to call, “comfort”, of our emotions, and steering away from positive logic thought. Bringing yourself to terms, with yourself, being kind to yourself, things will occur that you’d never imagine, contentment will be in your favor. Keeping that faith, and discipline, is the hardest part; so it can and will be done, if pursued. 

Selfishness, is it really that bad? 

Moments come and go, there’s certain ones that remain, like living, taking care of responsibilities, and pushing past negativity on the daily. 

Yet sometimes there are factors which could be anything, that make you tired, make you question your actions. They also make you happy, and make you cherish life just a little more than you’re “supposed” to. Those are the things that we tend to hold on to dearly. 

I guess I can safely presume and say that all of us humans, we can get very selfish at times. It’ll leave us bumfuzzled with our feelings because we start to think that we’re not important to anything or anyone, which is what happens frequently. Plenty of times I’ve had to take myself out of that funk and push through a dark part of my life to see light again. It’s not an easy process, but it’s always worth it in the end. 

The safest way to release your doubt is to have faith within yourself, even when you don’t feel loved or cared about by those you love the most. People have lives, we all do, sometimes I have a habit of forgetting that, and I’ll have to center myself with reality once more, but I’m human, we all are, we fall and we bleed, we aren’t machines. 

The selfish part

In generality most of us tend to get selfish when we want happiness to ourselves, because we have found our very own pot of gold within our hearts, so we get jealous and gain attitudes that aren’t healthy. The most comedic part about that is we do it out of love and protection for ourselves. 

My personal opinion, I don’t want to be happy with something that anyone can have. I don’t want anything common. It’ll get boring before I know it and poof, I’ll end up starting from square one again. 

We want people to be there for us and only us because we know that we’ll do the same in return for them. 

But what if that doesn’t happen ?

Honestly, I wouldn’t know the answer to that because I’m still trying to figure it out. 

So what happens next ?

Life will happen, and I’ll be right back, to blog all about it.