What are you passionate about? 14 days into 2018 and I’m randomly reflecting on how I got to where I’m at now. I’ve realized that a lot of my motivation was born from boredom, necessity, and a need for change. The people that I started with weren’t the people I wanted to end up with. Their goals and mine didn’t align. Materialistic possesion doesn’t define me. I am not my brand new clothes, sneakers, or iPhone. I was before, but not now. I remember texting (———) while at work and telling them something I saw was something I couldn’t live without. The entire reason I even started writing was just to afford a $250 Nike Tech Knit hoodie from Kith. I never bought the hoodie, but I did get something better out of the situation. A lesson: whatever you want in life you have to reach for it yourself whether it’s a hoodie or happiness, even when happiness looks like a hoodie. Writing isn’t the end-all be-all but it’s opened a lot of doors.
Everything I’ve Ever Wanted
I’m alright with work following me into the weekend, it’s just something most adults experience. I have random fans of one website I work for emailing me tips about dead pornstars. Another site I work with sends me free clothes from their collections. I’m constantly pushing myself to raise the bar on everything that I throw my name on. It’s been paying off in self-improvement and in savings. The miniature panic attack I had because I had to pick between paying for a $250 hoodie or paying bills doesn’t happen anymore. I can do both. But I want that same worry-free mentality on a wider scale. Being prepared for unexpected expenses and other opportunities that require more money than one week’s paycheck is something that’s important to me.
Life is rough and if you believe that you always have the answers you would be surprised how wrong you are about almost everything. I’ve noticed this theme amongst lower-income households and the “middle-class.” Most of the self-worth, fallouts, and disagreements are over money. Not saying that money is evil in any way because practically you could replace money with any system of exchange and people would still have a problem. It’s the lack of community and compassion for another person that creates this terrible atmosphere that I’ve been trying to escape for a while. Even if these people look and behave just like you. So many people are indebted to relationships, materialism, bills, who has time to breathe?
Relationships with others are less important that reaching my destination. I want to live in a nice neighborhood and not feel the annoyance of obligation or incompetent managers at a nine to five. An episode of Shameless was my inspiration. Life is cutthroat. Life really is about owning. Otherwise you’ll always be running around like a headless chicken looking for some solace you’ll never find. You’re dying trying to save face. Forever.My goal is to always keep learning so I’m able to navigate through life better.
Focuses for this year:
I was able to buy these shoes from writing and it really puts everything into perspective. Things get old. Just because something means everything to you at the moment doesn’t mean it will give you the same feeling later on.