The worlds way of showing us how simplicity is really the cure to a multitude of mislead souls, we’ve been stuck in the one track minded mental, brought to think that whatever anyone else is doing, we must do better, and boast about it through a façade of humbled behavior.. that’s not the wave… sad to say that we all get stuck in it at some point in time, it’s up to you whether you stay stuck in a circled drain mentality, there’s ups and downs to every situation; for we might not know why and how, we all get frustrated and perplexed. Yet in those moments most of us cling to the, what we’d like to call, “comfort”, of our emotions, and steering away from positive logic thought. Bringing yourself to terms, with yourself, being kind to yourself, things will occur that you’d never imagine, contentment will be in your favor. Keeping that faith, and discipline, is the hardest part; so it can and will be done, if pursued.
Someone once told me, in life, it’s best to just leave the negative thoughts behind and keep on trucking because there’s worse things that you’ll have to deal with. Subconsciously I’ve let negative thoughts run through my head and body, which reflected how I treated people, but I’ve tried so hard to become better, which I have; slightly.
Starting school soon, I’ve began to contemplate as to why I’m deciding to start a new chapter all over again. With veterinarian technician, being my number one goal, I’ve noticed that it was a passion I wanted to pursue, but not at the moment. I’ve wanted, and still do, to take care of animals completely; but somewhere in that mix, I’ve noticed that I come first. Me. As mean and selfish as that sounds, I’ve brought it to my own mental attention, that I’m young, and I won’t be getting any younger. If I don’t take care of what I need to accomplish then I won’t achieve any of the goals I want to acquire, then I won’t attain the happiness I want in the near future.
Which brings me to music, (my first choice), oh the flawless admiration I have for that word itself let alone the pure instruments that make it, what it really is. Nothing could ever bring me to loathe music, for its all I think about, for example, when I leave to a restaurant or even waiting on line at a store, I have to touch something and make up a beat, which progresses on to become a potential song in my head, which pushes me closer to successfully knocking down yet, another obstacle.
You see, I think about money a lot, but I also think about helping animals more than people. Because I’ve always despised individuals who don’t really care about the planet. They irk me in full honesty. Then there comes children, because they’re our future of course. Counseling came to mind. But then again, how can I help others if I cannot assist myself with my best interests to help those in need?
It all came back down to square one, which has taught me a very valuable lesson over and over again.
Your first choice? Let that be your decision.
I’d like to think of it as a juxtaposition to a drunk person.
Your first choice is something you know will make you happy, (not in many cases but so far in mine), and that second choice is something that you think will be better than your first choice but won’t really make you as happy as your first choice. Now let’s view the drunken individuals, when sober, they don’t spill out their feelings/thoughts/concerns as much as they would when they’re drunk. Because their second choice is to not say anything about what they really feel like saying. Although they know that if they were to bring up their honesty, as blunt as it may seem and or be, they’ll get ridiculed or misjudged for speaking up.
Now that, that’s out of the way, I’m proud to say that I believe I’m taking the necessary steps in my life for my future because it’s, well, it’s not the “right” thing to do, but it’s the smart thing to do. Who wants to be held up in a square town that is a dead end and not move forward ? My city, Elizabeth, New Jersey, is my comfort zone, but it isn’t my “home” for I know I love the parks, streets, and festivals as well as the locals I may recognize, but deep down within me, I know it’s not somewhere I see myself living for the rest of my life.
There are invisible walls that have been put up for those that seek the average things in life, as for me? Those walls have been torn down since the age of 15, furthermore, I believe it’s time I take a few steps over those broken down walls and feel the world out for myself and my future relationships and endeavors, for nothing, and, no one will be able to stop me.
Felisha Perez .
Love me down
Finish your plate
Don’t give me a frown
Come here to heavens gate
For the now
My waterfalls will make you weak
Certain strokes give me “WOW”
Come and let me make you tweak
While I watch you quiver after my love is given
I bask in my satisfaction of your surrender
This was wholeheartedly driven
My mentality and vibes are benders
I bend broken hearts and build them anew
Giving you my liquids from my fountain
Come sit next to me and enjoy the view
The view from skies to oceans to the top of a mountain
With you inside of me, I see your colors spring about
I grab your heart from inside of your body, to give it a kiss, just to put it back
Look me in my eyes so I can turn you out
I keep my clothes on to keep your imagination in tack
We can never lose ourselves in a drought
Our bodies must be flowing rivers of life
Come taste it
Fondle me like you would a fife
Put your fingers in the holes, filling them up, with no exit
And never leave
Compared to most, I’m pretty clever
Come to me, and receive
This gift I give you, that takes you to a different element
I promise I’ll be a good girl
I promise I’ll repent
Make me unfurl
I’ll make you wild
Happy, and intrigued with this game we play
Your smile will be bigger than a child’s
So speed up, I don’t have all day.
Meet me here then over there,
I’ll lick your spots
Just tell me where
Connecting them like stars that connect dots.
Come lay in between my legs,
You’re not entering, just simply sharing an intimate position
Talk to me like a puppy that begs
Let me be your physician
I’ll put you back into place
I can make you remember
Leaving long strokes of my tongue on your face
Then on your back that’s hotter than ember
But I’ll cool off, and so will you.
Come love me down,
It’s a shame how you embarrass flowers, how one look from your eyes to their pedals, sends them flying away looking for new soil to grow in. I looked at you this morning and I was in total shock ! You’ve gotten so much rest that your eyes shine brighter than gold; your black pupils are masked by your puppy brown eyes gleaming in the sun. Your skin, there’s something different about it. Your hair! When was the last time you dyed it ? It looks beautifully natural! Your hips, how curvy they can be, your belly button resembles a long oval waiting to be touched. Your thighs, how warm your hands feel when they are placed in between them. The bouncing curls from your soft bushy hair, resembling the circular motions of a slinky. Oh how I can look at you forever. I mean, how can I not ? Everything on you could be with someone else but it isn’t. I mean sure there’s better looking people than you, everyone knows that. But the way you bring your imperfections to life with your wit and your silly little laughs, it makes me want to cry, really. Your smile is so unique but broad and it waits every second of the day to be brought out by someone’s humor. You’re everything a woman should be. Proud. Elegant, smart, content and appreciative of who you are and what you have ! How you walk with your heels first before your toes touch the ground, how you shake your hips to the beautiful tunes as you cook, you’re perfect. In your own way .
Her walk: glorious
Her voice: gracious
Her smile: out of this world
Her ambition: bigger than anyone else’s
Someone was always running towards her for advice, for comfort, for shelter, for food, for a good laugh, you name it, she was the mother to a safe haven; everything about her screamed independence.
My mother’s sister she was, but to me, and almost every cousin and family member I could think of, she was our mother, something about her couldn’t ever be replaced, it was like she was our super hero.
For your understanding here are some stories
She drove to my house in downtown Elizabeth (at that time being) and asked my mother to send me downstairs. Automatically I ran down, because whenever Myrta was around, you knew it would be a great genuine time. She seen me, put her arms up in the air forming a kind of squared shaped ‘u’ and she then let out her famous laugh and saying “Hey miss thing!” She then asked me how did I feel about taking a road trip, now before I go on, think to yourself, how would an 11 year old girl feel about taking a road trip with her favorite aunt ? Overwhelmed might be the proper word for it.
“What’s that look for ? You look like someone told you that you won one trillion dollars!” I mean why wouldn’t I have that face right ? I ran up the stairs and got my clothes ready for an eventful weekend. When I came back downstairs she had the trunk prepared for my duffle bag, I couldn’t wait for this road trip to begin. Two hours in the drive, her gps had started to act up, continuously saying turn right, turn right, turn right! Never have I ever seen her get so upset with technology! She threw the gps out of the window and pulled out the printed directions off of mapquest, I couldn’t remember the last time I laughed so hard. The playlist on this car ride went from the O’jays, Marvin gaye, the temptations, Gladys Knight, Oscar DeLeon, prince, The Weezers, house music, classical music, the list goes on and on, but I didn’t take the music for granted.
2. Sonya’s baby shower
I remember sitting there waiting for my cousin Sonya to hurry up and walk in for the surprise baby shower, but of course Sonya will be Sonya, she wasn’t really surprised she had a look of confusion in other words, she was kind of expecting this to happen she had us all laughing and crying in tears.
But Myrta, she loved Sonya’s belly, she had been next to my mother and I, simply saying “she’s so beautiful pregnant, she has the perfect belly, we didn’t have that !” And there went that famous laugh of hers, as she spoke to my mother. Myrta wore such a beautiful black and white dress, which she absolutely loved wearing. Black and white were her favorite colors.
3. My sweet sixteen.
Beauty is something that can be bought but never instilled. Myrta was beautiful inside and out, and on my sweet sixteen she received a lucky candle that I gave to her. She thanked me, but before she did that, she brought my dress, and told me to never let it go. Which I don’t intend on doing.
My parents, George and Sylvia as well as my aunt Myrta and myself rode 15 hours to Florida, I would have to say, that had to be the best time of my life, Titi Myrta introduced me to Starbucks coffee for the first time. We had to stop multiple times due to Myrta’s diabetes. But I didn’t mind it, we stopped at many fine places
- Dine in motel that had so many hillbillies, but they were so kind ! Titi Myrta told me to try their grits and the way they made them. She said learning new things had to be the ultimate goal in everyone’s lives, “it feeds your brain nena.” She used to tell me that so many times.
- Waffle House. That was my first time going there ever. I strongly encourage readers to go there asap, any Waffle House will do, as long as you have their whipped cream strawberry waffles with ice cream and a cherry on top!
- Cracker Barrel, best food on earth !!!
- A souvenir store inside of Cracker Barrel, that store had so many shiny stones made me want to take all of them home
We did so much in Florida, but most of all, we all had an amazing time. We seen 3 alligators crossing the street as if they owned it, Myrta took a picture of them and said they resembled the three stooges. We went to at least 5 flea markets as well as thrift stores and went for walks under the Floridian starry sky. Unfortunately this is where the story goes sour. Titi Myrta grabbed her hair to put into a ponytail and noticed a chunk came out, she had been losing so much weight, but automatically thought it had been due to having diabetes. Sadly we didn’t take notice that it would later be caused by lung cancer .
Allentown, Pennsylvania is where my father’s sister Nela stayed; she used to live there, having such an enormous but simple home. Pure beauty. Titi Nela and her sons and daughter treated Myrta with such great hospitality; serving her whatever she wished to eat and offered to take her wherever she had wanted to go. But one thing that caught me off guard was Tori. Tori had been my aunt Nela’s dog/daughter/partner in crime. She was an American bull dog mixed with a pitbull terrier, she was beautiful and looked like a cow. Black and white. Never in my life did I ever expect Tori and Myrta to click the way they did only because Titi didn’t like big dogs near her. But tori made her presence very well known with Titi Myrta. She made sure she protected Titi while she stood there and made her final month with her enjoyable.
6. Cancer treatment Centers of America
Titi had her final days here, of course it was never on a good note but she loved the way they treated her there, the nurses just loved her. But Titi had enough of being there after a while. A few weeks after she finished her will, she demanded that she come home (she knew it was time to go and rest but she didn’t want us to know through words so she let us know through her actions.) “They took the parkway!” She calculated in her mind as the ambulance driver took longer than expected to take her home . She never lost her mental. She may have been sick, but she wasn’t dumb. Very smart infact .
She passed away September 16th, 2012. A year and date I don’t think anyone close to her could ever forget. She was our talisman, she had been our esperance in desperate situations, she was and forever will be our queen.
The essence of sound is something that vibrates not only through your ear drums but through your body, soul and mind…
If you believe in that..
But to each his own
Sound is something that catches you off gaurd .. it could easily be someone’s voice or maybe even a garbage can’s top clanking when it’s put on the can itself to keep it closed..
sound is something that we all take for granted ..
I can be accounted guilty for this, my favorite sound is when the fire snaps while burning the wood during a roasting of a marshmallow…or if you’d like me to get a little more specific, I like to hear people speak while they’re on the microphone and the fact that when they pronounce a word with the ‘p’ sound it comes out so aggressively, sort of like when a linebacker tackles someone.. but still and yet I still find it so fascinating.. it’s the simplest sounds that set you on a rampage.. but that is what matters the most . You like it so let it be … am I right ?