Twisting the realities around

Showing remorse can bring you to your knees, but I’d rather that be the case than to not have endearment for you. I’ve went completely numb due to the lack of love and brutality shown onto me; but you, oh you. 

You bring me body trembles that keep me warm, instead of cold. 

You’re everything I could’ve asked for and yet, I’ve come to terms that we both provide. 

Come, the jazz sessions call your name along with mine

Stroke my strings, like the bass you call yours

Push your breaths on me and press my buttons like the trumpet you sing to. 

Empower me, as I you. 

Drink from me, as I you. 

I promise, my lively liquids will keep you satisfied until you’re ready for more. 

Thank you my love, 

Come drink, for we have the world’s colors to see. 

Beau

Love me down

Finish your plate

Don’t give me a frown

Come here to heavens gate

For the now

My waterfalls will make you weak 

Certain strokes give me “WOW”

Moments 

Come and let me make you tweak 

While I watch you quiver after my love is given 

I bask in my satisfaction of your surrender

This was wholeheartedly driven 

My mentality and vibes are benders

I bend broken hearts and build them anew 

Giving you my liquids from my fountain

Come sit next to me and enjoy the view 

The view from skies to oceans to the top of a mountain

With you inside of me, I see your colors spring about

I grab your heart from inside of your body, to give it a kiss, just to put it back

Look me in my eyes so I can turn you out

I keep my clothes on to keep your imagination in tack 

We can never lose ourselves in a drought

Our bodies must be flowing rivers of life

Come taste it

Fondle me like you would a fife 

Put your fingers in the holes, filling them up, with no exit

Stay. Forever. 

And never leave

Compared to most, I’m pretty clever

Come to me, and receive 

This gift I give you, that takes you to a different element

I promise I’ll be a good girl

I promise I’ll repent 

Make me unfurl 

I’ll make you wild

Happy, and intrigued with this game we play 

Your smile will be bigger than a child’s 

So speed up, I don’t have all day. 

Meet me here then over there,

I’ll lick your spots

Just tell me where

Connecting them like stars that connect dots.

Come lay in between my legs, 

You’re not entering, just simply sharing an intimate position

Talk to me like a puppy that begs 

Let me be your physician 

I’ll put you back into place

I can make you remember 

Leaving long strokes of my tongue on your face

Then on your back that’s hotter than ember 

But I’ll cool off, and so will you.

Come love me down,

You beau. 

Wings, souls, shelter, never left behind.

Smiles cut deep

Innocent like the newborn sheep

Lions are not allowed to fall in love

Yet your silence grips me softer than a dove’s 

Wings 

Things

They can never change

Well there’s possibility 

But then there’s rearrange

Ment 

I mean I meant

Meant to keep your heart safe

I’ll hold you in my armored arms my dearest waif

I’ll give you shelter something you’ll need

For it is not water you drink, but my lfe’s liquid I’ve sacrificed for you, so I bleed

I’m not ashamed, to show how I feel 

Showing you a heaven is ideal

My soul become your wings, for they’ll give you strength to fly 

For my love is never just simple, it’s conceived to multiply 

I give you life, through me, take my hand allow me to lead the way 

Things are subjective be that as it may

Sleep on my chest, allow my beating compassion to be your ticking clock

Perfecting your hearing when my lover knocks

Knocks on the doors to your heart 

Follow me to clear waters of the dock so you may witness the reflection that’ll counterpart 

Counterpart your heart, soul, mind and emotions 

That’ll bring out my countless devotions

For your safety, and your piece of mind;

I promise for my sake and yours, that I’ll never leave you behind. 

Stay like that

Have you ever felt like the world could be a crashing, complete demolishing, mess, but yet in that moment, you seem to notice how grateful you are. Those days are the ones where you have to grasp onto reality and see how fortunate you really are. People complain about the simplicity of life, without even realizing first and foremost, YOU’RE BREATHING !!!!!!! 

You could’ve been dead, paralyzed, deaf, blind, injured, in a life changing disaster. But no, you’re alive. Take time to thank the universe for everything that you have, and what you don’t have. I know that second part sounds funny, but honestly, ponder on that; you possess what you need, most of the time it’s not the things you want, which I’m more than sure it can be frustrating, but if you’re in the middle of getting yourself together you can’t focus on what you’d like and want, you’ve got to stay hungry for what you need in life to remain alive, and most importantly humbled. Furthermore you have to show thanks, because everything you obtain, can be taken from you like a rug being pulled from under you. 

One beautiful day, someone will be rude to you, someone will hurt your feelings, and at a certain point and time, someone will break your heart, so it is your JOB as a human being, to remain calm and take advantage of the glory which, if you haven’t noticed, is all around you.

 Let’s use it as an analogy.

The trees get rained on by the sky so many times a day, a week, a month, even more during a year, and yet, they don’t decide to break away from their roots firmly planted in the ground, instead, they grow, so beautifully. Doesn’t that make you want to cry ? They keep their head(branches) up and continue to look at the bigger purpose/ picture. 

Growth will make you better, every single day, you just have to push yourself to that very point. 

So when you’re having a great day, noticing how blessed you are, in that moment, give thanks, to the 

  1. Universe
  2. And to yourself

I say yourself because, you can give up at any given moment. You really can, but if you know that you want more out of life, and you yearn to be content with life as well as yourself, you continue to push, and let me tell you something, it’s HARD ! So hard, that you want to cry or get so aggravated that you want to storm out and walk off of the edge of the world, but think about it……… 

the same energy you put into quitting is the same energy you should apply to winning and happiness. Because you deserve that . You deserve the world. If you work for it. 

So if you’re happy today, stay like that ūüíö.

If you let me. 

The long strokes of your index and middle finger send chills down my spine, after it’s all done, conversation is something I become addicted to. Your mouth filled with so much honey, while my mind pursuades me to take a lick to share your taste. There’s nothing better than this. Your imperfections speak so sensually to me, making it extremely difficult for me to pin point as to how they’re not good enough for you. 

I laid here expecting so little, instead I’ve received so much more. This position here is where I’d like to stay for the rest of the night. Your brown eyes giving me a reflection of my own. There’s nothing that I could desire any more than this. I appreciate your company, in fact I’ve yearned for it for far too long.

But answer me this, are you used to the caresses I’ve been handing you ? Does it feel like home ? Will you be able to see my woman like chest as your safe haven when you’ve had a bad day? Are you comfortable enough to lay on it and tell me your hopes and dreams ? How can I make you feel safe ? 

My body becomes your office of therapy, for all I know you’ve accepted others. The only difference is they’ve looked for security through you, while I offer you my own secure essence of safety through my arms and my soul. 

I see your chest as something to lay my hand on. The heartbeat through your ribs have given me such a deep sense of withdrawal. Withdrawal of love and peace. I’ve longed to bring tranquility to you, but only if you let me .

The 7 wonders 

As Fleetwoodmac said “If I live to see the 7 wonders I’ll make a path to the rainbow’s end, I’ll never live to match the beauty again”

But where is the rainbow’s end exactly ? 

In my opinion, I’d consider every place you’ve never been, the rainbow’s beginning and end. Due to the many colors that you’ll be introduced to, the different cultures, different sceneries, different people! Life offers many ideas for each and everyone to grasp on to, but it’s up to you, to grab them . 

Road trips, plane rides, boat rides, walking, running, however you decide to get there, you shall, if you push yourself . 

Love comes in many different forms to the generality of the world; allowing yourself to see this will make everything so much more bonzer; letting go of what made you doubt yourself and those who had a great umbra over you, will show you how much power you really have over your life and your happiness. 

Begin to realize YOU are the answer to every problem as well as every solution, don’t you ever forget that. 

Take pictures, mentally and physically. You’ll begin to cognizant how beautiful the world is, and you can compare everywhere to.. well basically everywhere, just to see which place has the better scenery. 


Never stop ensuing to be a better you everyday! 
Photo cred: http://instagram.com/i.am.also.brod5ky

Love is too contagious !

Isn’t it crazy how love can easily become a toxin if you’d allow it to be ?

It’s funny when you think of it, children and puppy love, seeing that they like each other for who they are and not for what they pretend to be. These days love is something that is very, extremely, underrated and overrated at the same exact time. Sad isn’t it ?


Every man, woman, including you and me, are involved in this circled game we call a “cycle”. You find someone you meet, you like them, you tend to fall for them sometimes but then they disappoint you ! Oh no ! Didn’t find what you expected to be there ? So sorry . Welp, better luck next time. 

We’re so used to being expected to impress the opposite sex because of what they have or what we want them to think we have… or who they wished they were, vice versa. It’s a game really, who impresses who the most. But it’s so exhausting after a while you lie and lie and lie until you’ve forgotten the lie you’ve given the last time so you make a new one. 

Frustrating isn’t it ?

What I’m afraid of is a whole nation creating bastards out of lust and not realizing that they’re continuing this horrid cycle. Change who you are, build on that image and when you’re tired you show your real colors. 

THATS A BORE! (and false advertisement might I add.) Be who you are, show your true colors from the gate, you could be surprised on who you end up being a minute, an hour, a year later. As people we evolve;

We always evolve.

We strive to be better (well some of us) and succeed to be happy in life, but those who are so trapped in society’s ways, believe they need to put up a plethora of fronts in order to be considered what they want to be remembered as, even if it isn’t true. But even that comes collapsing down. 

Growing up is hard, but staying young isn’t. Especially with love . If you think of yourself and the opposite sex as children, you allow yourself to be honest. Open. True. Confessing. Not a liar or a cheat, or even a backstabbing individual. 

Love is simple, titles bring on complications. Which brings explanations.

Like “that is my boyfriend,” “that’s my girlfriend” if it helps you, by all means take the title by the hand if you gladly want to do so.. but for those who take their job titles a little too hard, relax with the name calling!

The list of who can’t do what ?

It’s ridiculous, who in their right mind won’t look at another beautiful being ? She’s beautiful, he’s beautiful but they aren’t you, so why get jealous? It’s such an ugly characteristic, I mean, it just shows insecurities on a wide screen. Why tell a grown man and or woman they can’t go out because you don’t trust them ? Or is it the people, or is it both? If there isn’t any trust and or understanding of freedom and the will to be wherever you want to be whilst having a significant other, then it’s best to say, you’re better off alone…. 

You’re friends. Nothing’s changed. Well, except intercourse aka love making and kissing as well as touching and- you get the point. If you love someone enough, you’d remember that honesty begins by being real with yourself first and your significant other. 

Stop making everything complicated and soon you’ll see, love is too contagious when you’re modest and truthful. It builds bridges you couldn’t even imagine. Oaths that are unbreakable and a friendship that will build strong and sturdy, by learning the ins and outs of their likes and dislikes, as well as getting to know the world together. Learn from one another and inspire each other to be better. Instead of limiting one another and putting boundaries on what wasn’t a problem before an intimate moment was shared. 

The Talisman

Her walk: glorious

Her voice: gracious

Her smile: out of this world

Her ambition: bigger than anyone else’s 

Someone was always running towards her for advice, for comfort, for shelter, for food, for a good laugh, you name it, she was the mother to a safe haven; everything about her screamed independence. 

My mother’s sister she was, but to me, and almost every cousin and family member I could think of, she was our mother, something about her couldn’t ever be replaced, it was like she was our super hero. 

For your understanding here are some stories

  1. Maryland

She drove to my house in downtown Elizabeth (at that time being) and asked my mother to send me downstairs. Automatically I ran down, because whenever Myrta was around, you knew it would be a great genuine time. She seen me, put her arms up in the air forming a kind of squared shaped ‘u’ and she then let out her famous laugh and saying “Hey miss thing!” She then asked me how did I feel about taking a road trip, now before I go on, think to yourself, how would an 11 year old girl feel about taking a road trip with her favorite aunt ? Overwhelmed might be the proper word for it. 

Continuing on…

“What’s that look for ? You look like someone told you that you won one trillion dollars!” I mean why wouldn’t I have that face right ? I ran up the stairs and got my clothes ready for an eventful weekend. When I came back downstairs she had the trunk prepared for my duffle bag, I couldn’t wait for this road trip to begin. Two hours in the drive, her gps had started to act up, continuously saying turn right, turn right, turn right! Never have I ever seen her get so upset with technology! She threw the gps out of the window and pulled out the printed directions off of mapquest, I couldn’t remember the last time I laughed so hard. The playlist on this car ride went from the O’jays, Marvin gaye, the temptations, Gladys Knight, Oscar DeLeon, prince, The Weezers, house music, classical music, the list goes on and on, but I didn’t take the music for granted. 

   2. Sonya’s baby shower

I remember sitting there waiting for my cousin Sonya to hurry up and walk in for the surprise baby shower, but of course Sonya will be Sonya, she wasn’t really surprised she had a look of confusion in other words, she was kind of expecting this to happen she had us all laughing and crying in tears. 

But Myrta, she loved Sonya’s belly, she had been next to my mother and I, simply saying “she’s so beautiful pregnant, she has the perfect belly, we didn’t have that !” And there went that famous laugh of hers, as she spoke to my mother. Myrta wore such a beautiful black and white dress, which she absolutely loved wearing. Black and white were her favorite colors.

         3. My sweet sixteen. 

Beauty is something that can be bought but never instilled. Myrta was beautiful inside and out, and on my sweet sixteen she received a lucky candle that I gave to her. She thanked me, but before she did that, she brought my dress, and told me to never let it go. Which I don’t intend on doing. 

     4. Florida 

My parents, George and Sylvia as well as my aunt Myrta and myself rode 15 hours to Florida, I would have to say, that had to be the best time of my life, Titi Myrta introduced me to Starbucks coffee for the first time. We had to stop multiple times due to Myrta’s diabetes. But I didn’t mind it, we stopped at many fine places 

  1. Dine in motel that had so many hillbillies, but they were so kind ! Titi Myrta told me to try their grits and the way they made them. She said learning new things had to be the ultimate goal in everyone’s lives, “it feeds your brain nena.” She used to tell me that so many times.
  2. Waffle House. That was my first time going there ever. I strongly encourage readers to go there asap, any Waffle House will do, as long as you have their whipped cream strawberry waffles with ice cream and a cherry on top!
  3. Cracker Barrel, best food on earth !!! 
  4. A souvenir store inside of Cracker Barrel, that store had so many shiny stones made me want to take all of them home

We did so much in Florida, but most of all, we all had an amazing time. We seen 3 alligators crossing the street as if they owned it, Myrta took a picture of them and said they resembled the three stooges. We went to at least 5 flea markets as well as thrift stores and went for walks under the Floridian starry sky. Unfortunately this is where the story goes sour. Titi Myrta grabbed her hair to put into a ponytail and noticed a chunk came out, she had been losing so much weight, but automatically thought it had been due to having diabetes. Sadly we didn’t take notice that it would later be caused by lung cancer .

       5. Pennsylvania 

Allentown, Pennsylvania is where my father’s sister Nela stayed; she used to live there, having such an enormous but simple home. Pure beauty. Titi Nela and her sons and daughter treated Myrta with such great hospitality; serving her whatever she wished to eat and offered to take her wherever she had wanted to go. But one thing that caught me off guard was Tori. Tori had been my aunt Nela’s dog/daughter/partner in crime. She was an American bull dog mixed with a pitbull terrier, she was beautiful and looked like a cow. Black and white. Never in my life did I ever expect Tori and Myrta to click the way they did only because Titi didn’t like big dogs near her. But tori made her presence very well known with Titi Myrta. She made sure she protected Titi while she stood there and made her final month with her enjoyable. 
      6. Cancer treatment Centers of America 

Titi had her final days here, of course it was never on a good note but she loved the way they treated her there, the nurses just loved her. But Titi had enough of being there after a while. A few weeks after she finished her will, she demanded that she come home (she knew it was time to go and rest but she didn’t want us to know through words so she let us know through her actions.) “They took the parkway!” She calculated in her mind as the ambulance driver took longer than expected to take her home . She never lost her mental. She may have been sick, but she wasn’t dumb. Very smart infact . 

She passed away September 16th, 2012. A year and date I don’t think anyone close to her could ever forget. She was our talisman, she had been our esperance in desperate situations, she was and forever will be our queen. 

Unaware

I didn’t know it would come down to this ! Doing what others said couldn’t be done, saying things that should be left a secret, how could I ever let this happen ?! 
But wait.. there’s other things to worry about, like how I totally thought you had a way out, and I thought I had a way in. We’re stuck here but there’s not much we can really do now hm? 
The night stars watch us eagerly as we sit here; letting the time run past us. It’s a shame we couldn’t touch or hold them closer to our liking. Although nothing compares to this moment. I ponder 10 million times in my head before I ask you the infamous question of eternity
“Do you really love me?”
Met stares begin to leave me in a worried state, wondering if the answer will be what I want to hear. I’m betting that you’ll say you really don-
“Yes, I really do.” 
There it goes again, I speak before I’m spoken to, I answer questions for you in my head before I hear what you have to say.. why does this happen? Why do I do this ? 
Allowing you in my head is a dangerous game, for you could never be so sure on what is really in there, but you, oh you, you sure know what goes on in this mysterious mentality of mine; and I love you for it. 

Dear Isidore (Izzy) Malanga; thank you .

This man in the picture above is someone I aspire to be one day. Such wisdom, such grace, and such happiness.

Quotes by Isidore Malanga:

“In life you must move on, no mater how hard it hurts, because sometimes I catch myself talking in my sleep speaking to my wife saying ‘no I don’t want anymore coffee’ but I forget she’s gone, she’s not there anymore, but I miss her.”

“Way back when we used to court I used to sit on the porches stoop in front of the house and 9pm was the time to go in, but I didn’t go until 10, we took everything slow; now it’s not like that anymore too much exposure and too much promiscuity, there’s no more true love out there and if there is, they need to hold on. Sometimes couples, especially married couples don’t reach the seven year itch in a marriage.”

“My wife and I went to school together and we already said that we would have four kids”

“My brother was stationed in Japan too.”

“I had 13 brothers and sisters including myself, I mean what do you expect ? (He laughs) they didn’t have TVs back then!”

Today I noticed the greatest gift of all; it’s life. There’s so much to do and most would consider it to be in such little time, but a lesson I have learned from new my dear friend izzy, is that time has no end when you’re a happy individual. Time bows down to you when you’re happy with yourself before your success.

 Love, it’s something that you must hold on to. Izzy loved his wife so much, the fact that he still sees her in his dreams is the definition of what love is. He misses her of course but just like a child lets go of their childhood best stuffed animal friend, they remember it as they grow older, the love will always be there. It’s funny speaking about it now on this blog but a friend once told me “memories are all you’re left with” sometimes it’s the memories that keeps us all alive. 63 years married to his wife and 72 years together in a relationship. GOALS!

Humor, he has a lot of it. I noticed him reading or at least that’s what he seemed to be doing,  but to my surprise, he had been making fun of the people in the magazine. He told me this girl looks like she could use 5 deep fried chicken legs, his face became so red. 

Listening, something a lot of people in this day and age don’t know how to do. I sit there and listen to Izzy tell me stories for hours and I couldn’t enjoy it anymore than I did. 


Smile. Smiling is the best thing you could do, it’s like the appetizer to your soul before you receive the full course meal of laughter. When he smiles, I feel that everything will be okay, just because he smiles so much. His raspy voice reminds me of a child telling secrets to you in your ear, you must go near him in order to hear him clearly but that’s the best part ! His eyes are waves from all the seven seas combined. The color blue can’t even think about competing with his topaz iris’.


Communication, is what Izzy is very good at, he makes me laugh every time he speaks due to the fact that he speaks with the eagerness of a child receiving a new gift. He spoke to my grandparents with such happiness and made sure he allowed everyone to feel included in the conversations he had.


Observation, he’s so good at that ! He looks at different objects in the room to remind him of the past so he’s able to talk about yet, another story, and I find it so fascinating


Before I left I had to take this photo, it’s like a thank you for myself and to him, myself because of being able to relate to him and being able to make him feel comfortable enough to share his life’s timeline with me. A thank you to Isidore because he has allowed me to see how much more living I have to-correction, I must do. 

December 15th, 1925 is the day that Isidore had been born. He’s 91 years old and is still kicking. What a bad ass to meet .