Short and sweet 


The worlds way of showing us how simplicity is really the cure to a multitude of mislead souls, we’ve been stuck in the one track minded mental, brought to think that whatever anyone else is doing, we must do better, and boast about it through a façade of humbled behavior.. that’s not the wave… sad to say that we all get stuck in it at some point in time, it’s up to you whether you stay stuck in a circled drain mentality, there’s ups and downs to every situation; for we might not know why and how, we all get frustrated and perplexed. Yet in those moments most of us cling to the, what we’d like to call, “comfort”, of our emotions, and steering away from positive logic thought. Bringing yourself to terms, with yourself, being kind to yourself, things will occur that you’d never imagine, contentment will be in your favor. Keeping that faith, and discipline, is the hardest part; so it can and will be done, if pursued. 

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Selfishness, is it really that bad? 

Moments come and go, there’s certain ones that remain, like living, taking care of responsibilities, and pushing past negativity on the daily. 

Yet sometimes there are factors which could be anything, that make you tired, make you question your actions. They also make you happy, and make you cherish life just a little more than you’re “supposed” to. Those are the things that we tend to hold on to dearly. 

I guess I can safely presume and say that all of us humans, we can get very selfish at times. It’ll leave us bumfuzzled with our feelings because we start to think that we’re not important to anything or anyone, which is what happens frequently. Plenty of times I’ve had to take myself out of that funk and push through a dark part of my life to see light again. It’s not an easy process, but it’s always worth it in the end. 

The safest way to release your doubt is to have faith within yourself, even when you don’t feel loved or cared about by those you love the most. People have lives, we all do, sometimes I have a habit of forgetting that, and I’ll have to center myself with reality once more, but I’m human, we all are, we fall and we bleed, we aren’t machines. 

The selfish part

In generality most of us tend to get selfish when we want happiness to ourselves, because we have found our very own pot of gold within our hearts, so we get jealous and gain attitudes that aren’t healthy. The most comedic part about that is we do it out of love and protection for ourselves. 

My personal opinion, I don’t want to be happy with something that anyone can have. I don’t want anything common. It’ll get boring before I know it and poof, I’ll end up starting from square one again. 

We want people to be there for us and only us because we know that we’ll do the same in return for them. 

But what if that doesn’t happen ?

Honestly, I wouldn’t know the answer to that because I’m still trying to figure it out. 

So what happens next ?

Life will happen, and I’ll be right back, to blog all about it. 

The human condition and west of division

Fighting over parking spots and other frivolous things. The DNA in most humans is actually quite terrible. The longing to have your name live on long after you’re gone. Beast in a flesh cage. Livewires grounded by the realities of humanity. Impermanence. Fear and loathing spread past Las Vegas. If you take a step back you can see the beauty in it all. Everything perfect in all the imperfections. But where do we go from here? Life. A puzzle perpetually unsolved. Every generation given a new chance to answer. Silence still. There are those of us who have the answer. Silence still. Because to answer is belonging to question. To question is to suggest an origin. An origin. A beginning. A beginning, an end. Having the answers to questions solves problems. Life may have many, and may no one find it. So that it may keep going. 

The end of the world can wait 

I’m here 

Nah b, hold up! 


It’s hard to not feel entitled to certain things, situations and people, due to the treatment, even objects. Anyone can say that they usually do something while their behavior has changed, whether it be with another person, situation and or thing.

 Once we, as people, get comfortable with stuff being the way that they are, we begin to question where we stand with those factors that may be apart of our daily activities or even if there are long term hiatus’, we always notice when there’s a small change, or even large one.

Some of us at least.

Its difficult to realize this and face it sometimes, especially when we don’t want things to change, because in reality, some people don’t like change; they’d just rather things that are apart of whatever it is that’s important to them get better in the form that it’s already in. 

That’s where entitlement comes in. Sometimes it’s okay to not feel good about it, yet in that moment, we have to realize that people, places, and or things shouldn’t have that much of a significant impact on our lives because not everything lasts forever. Because entitlement leads to expectations, and if you expect people to deliver for you more than you do for yourself, you’ll never be happy. Unfortunately, I’m starting to realize this more and more each day.

But…

We could try to stretch it out if we could right ?

Or at least that’s what we’d like to believe. 

You see, sometimes waiting isn’t our thing. Waiting for a package to come, a situation to arise or be solved, and people making you think or wait longer than you believe you “should”. 

Entitlement is the same thing as happiness, and if you put that in other people, they’ll disappoint you every single time. Due to many reasons.

  1. It could be how they are
  2. Excuses are made up to cover up the truth behind the reason because of the way that things are set up
  3. Importance on what the place, situation, and or person might be, because people can treat things, situations and other individuals like it’s a priority until something or someone else comes along. 
  4. And last but not least time, things happen during the days and nights that most people don’t want to share or simply forget about, which kind of piggybacks off of importance.. if people, places, things, and situations are important to a person, they take care of it right away, or at least they try to. 

So, when you start to feel entitled to something, and or someone, just remember, they might not view things or feel the same way that you might. When you start to see that, it’ll be better to keep in mind that only you, can make that happen if you allow those things and or people to have that much of a significant importance/ impact on your life. 

If there’s an archer and they’re practicing to successfully find a target to shoot, it’ll be conquered. But if they feel like they deserve to hit that target just because they’re an “archer” then they’ll have a lot of disappointment to face. 

Be humble and keep yourself happy. Don’t leave that in other people’s hands. 

Unless they earn that treatment. 

How come? 

She doesn’t like being upset with them . 

It seems inside her blood, there’s a bailey

She can’t be knocked down, 

Yet her knees buckle when she thinks of them.

She doesn’t like having the feelings she does. 

The numb days. They were the best. 

But they could never have the effect on her like these heart beats do. 

They’re not regular

They skip, they bring happiness and whirlpools in her stomach

That makes her so sick, she wished that they weren’t there

But often ponders as to what would happen if they weren’t there. 

That’s when she begins to realize she’s wrong. 

Her arms and legs become clingy

Remaining ready at all times to squeeze with so much affection.

Still, the numb days didn’t bring her lungs to the verge of collapsing 

And her heart didn’t run a mile a minute when something didn’t go the way it usually would. 

She didn’t care

And now she does.

Trying to lock her heart in a chastiy belt specially built for her heart.

But it’s gained too much love, and is now too big to fit it.

She’s angry that she’s allowed herself to be this vulnerable. 

She had gotten so good at keeping her emotions in shallow waters. 

But now? The sun has evaporated all of the water and has rays of love shining from it.

She can’t TAKE IT! She feels so janus-faced. 

It’s making her worried, scared, happy, and anxious all in one.

Until she realizes, 

It shouldn’t be that deep. 

But her heart. 

It beats so hard that it creates shock waves that can be felt thousands of miles away. 

She’s very cautious she doesn’t trust that easily. 

Now more than ever, she’s having doubts on top of doubts

Her anxiousness is the result of not being fully reassured the way she wants to be. 

So now, she’s thinking more than she should and it’s bothering her. 

Distractions will be her new hobby. 

She can’t keep wearing her heart on her sleeve. 

She’ll get hurt. 

Patiently waiting and knows that when she gets where she wants, and sees who she wants, 

All of that, will fly out of the window of uncertainty. 

Saturn 

When I heard his voice for the first time I couldn’t believe my ears. Usually I’d always expect grungy things to occur. I could’ve sworn his voice would be deeper, but I kept listening, and once I felt my heart skip a beat, I was sold. He reminds me of a fox, always playing tricks or making a joke of something that you’d think you’d know the answer to, but remind yourself, you’re not on that sarcastic level yet, so just take a chill pill and watch this beauty at its finest. Through life form of course. 

The many perfections that he would call imperfections, I would always consider them to be his best attributes. His jawline makes me quiver every time he smiles. His hands, they can easily over power mine, while remaining so beautifully still. Oh! And his laugh ! Let’s not forget about the laugh that I search for whenever I see the facial dents of happiness appear on your face. 

The plains of his wide back, make me dream of hugging and transferring all the love I have within me to him. He’s my biggest fan and I his. His arms are my favorite part. They have shield written all on them, and yet, me being as reckless as I am, I don’t crave protection from them, but more of a genuine hold. I can imagine gripping them while softly showing my appreciation for them. 

He’s been my biggest challenge and my best experience. Learning things about someone while figuring yourself out is difficult they teach you something (subconsciously) and you find the answer through their evident fears and troubles. The same effort you put into loving someone else’s imperfections, is the same energy you should put towards loving yourself. Awarding yourself with this knowledge is the most valuable kind of education that teachers don’t teach. 

Realizing this has made it so much of an easy task to accept this beaut, for what and who he is. Noticing faults and flaws from both sides of the team shows you that people deserve to be loved for who they truly are, and not what they wish they could be. As my arms reach carefully, tenderly, I begin to find my own heart and the beats it leaves behind. While faced with dilemmas of quick judgments and scared hearts, I keep in mind that patience will forever and always be a virtue.

Laughter will constantly be apart of my life whenever I think of you. It’s the simplest things that get to me. In a sky full of other planets, and stars, you’re my Saturn. Your many rings that make you who you are keep me searching for more within myself, and within your love and your heart. 

Until infinity and beyond, I love you(r progress) 

Firefly

There’s something subtly intimidating about this woman, fully aware of herself, how beautiful she is, as well as how much she knows and understands. It’s dark where I came from, but I don’t believe that’s the reason why she’s here. The absence of light in my world made it easier to find her, she was glowing like some stars certain souls seek to see on the playground. There are millions of creative critiques dedicated to detailing women that lovers have loved, will love, and will never love again, but it’s different when these words are yours, the time is hers, and the love is ours. 

More fascinated with this firefly than many other avenues that bid my attention , I can’t help but to notice how beautiful you are. Flashing light against a falling sky, you helped me capture a perfect picture in the wake of dying day and new night. 

Your face fills my heart with hope knowing that someone so beautiful belongs to this world. It’s in your dishevelment and distance from make up that has me fixated and incessantly infatuated. Under your skin is a tinge of luminescence, you light up and I cannot look away. If I am to be bound by mortality, I pray to every god imaginable and unknown that in the journey through eternity I am blessed with more encounters with your soul. 

Always and Forever, I love you(r glow)

Summer sunsets at 7:45pm


Burn in hell
An end to your human experience is inevitable, but how you go and where you go is still up for debate. Does pain and pleasure really get triggered by the same censors? I’m not trying to raise hell like some cenobite but why does each extreme feel so extraordinary on opposing ends of the spectrum? A cut, an orgasm, a death, a birth. 
Burn in hell
Are you afraid of what you cannot see and don’t know? I’ve been human for so long, almost all my life. I’ve been plagued with affinities and tendencies which another human will gladly justify my obsession and aid in my quest for the indulgence of these pleasures. Decadence. But lately the pendulum stopped swinging and is stuck. It’s stuck on pain and everything hurts. How can I explain this? Have you ever processed what it really means for something to be over? 
Burn in hell
The “wrath of god” is an amazing phrase. It takes the idea of this super being inflicting immense physical pain typically through the use of a medium. The idea of physical pain is enough to scare the simple. Pain is something we understand since we’re young. You do wrong, pow pow time, see? Simple. Now take that simple mind and tell them it’s infinite pow pow time (please explain what infinite means to the child so they can grasp what’s going on). You see how you mitigated the inherent evil just by extending the punishment indefinitely. B-R-I-L-L-I-A-N-T! 
Burn in hell
I came back from hell to tell you that there are no fires, no torture chambers, no bodies of blood, horrible screams or anything of the like. There’s just silence. The silence slips over your entire body and engulfs your soul in a sense of dread unlike anything you’ve felt on earth. You begin to feel yourself cry for no reason at all, but no one hears you, it’s dark and you can’t even hear yourself. You begin to panic. Where is everyone and everything that you’ve grown to love. The memories you made on earth are gone and you’re unsure of who you are. You feel your hands in front of you, your pupils dilate to catch any light to reassure that these are indeed your hands, but blackness is the only sight that registers. You feel desperation flip to fear and fear to agony all in what seems to be mere seconds. You begin to cry again. All you’re wishing for now is to hear the sound of your own voice but the heavy silence snuffs out any audible escape from within. You’re going to be here awhile. To burn is to actually feel, and wishes aren’t granted in hell. To burn for an eternity would be a pleasure in comparison. 

The bull and the Lilly of the valley

She grows so weary of herself. She begins to see the confusion within her heart and soul. You see, the two are opposites, when they shouldn’t be. Her heart shields itself by not allowing her to break through verbally but rather physically, so that transfers to her brain, making it hard to decipher the significance of her emotions. 

The dilemma in her life are the bars that remain firmly planted on her heart. There’s a secret to these bars and her emotions. Within these bars lie millions of electrical shocks, called fear; she fears and expects the worst from people, and yet her heart and mind continue to amplify with trust, while fear always had a funny way of showing up in her life’s endeavors, those electrical bars clench tight, hence making her heart and mind deviagate from trusting and loving with positivity. 

Her lungs become deadly, the bars suddenly stretch out to them, forming a human’s hand that’s squeezes a sponge without difficulty. Her breaths become shallow, and her neck tenses up becoming a brick within her body that is rattled by her heart’s desire to expand. 

Her legs become her worst enemy. They disrespect gravity and collapse as she forces her self to walk on in life. Yet, she still arises; and in that moment, her fingers become numb, and her stomach becomes stronger than the currents from all seven seas combined.


She gives herself a few silent moments to reflect on her body’s malfunction. Then she gets up! As if it never happened. She’s still weary, and a little more wiser than she was yesterday. 

She stares into the mirror, and wonders what may be a problem within her image. Until she realizes there’s none to point out. She smiles and realizes her body isn’t the dilemma, she then feels the bars loosen, just before she becomes aware that they’re clenching once again. As she tries to work on her heart, it grows weak with fear and loathing of the challenges that her emotions put her through. 

She walks with so much pride, and respect for herself, she knows she’s beautiful in her own way. She sees her worth, yet she’s troubled and scared. 

Her goal in life, is to be freer than birds when they fly, she holds herself tight yet wants to open herself up. 

She doesn’t know how. Because the bars clench harder every time she’s happy. They give her reasons to doubt, to not trust, to assume, and to contradict. 

Her tears become puddles of her own reflection, the only difference is, while she cries, she visualized how things could’ve have gone so much better, had it not been for the electrical bars. 

She works on herself daily, she wakes up in the morning with positive thoughts, yet there the bars are every morning waiting for her heart to beat a little faster than it normally would, because that’s what fear does to you. 

She’s used to letting go of things, people, and situations, because she’s never been the kind of individual to dwell on a lot. She fears crying because in her upbringing, she realized that others have held things in, and that maybe, somehow, it would be normal to execute that in her life, which brought in her build up. But when her heart finds just a little more room to dilate just a tad bit more, she gives her best shots at fighting her own electrical bars, because she is aware that these certain things, people, and situations can be apart of a greater meaning of life, and she holds them so close and dearly, while pushing the the limited bars out more to love them so hard. 

Yet, the bars await. 

Waiting for my idols to die

As Saturday falls into Sunday I don’t want to be celebrated

I want to be appreciated 

I’m so anxious, 

Millions of cells with a thought for each one 

Who am I going to ruin my life over today

And in what way

And then I stop myself

These were my younger years

I don’t expect you to understand me

But I respect that you try

I’ve made a habit of labeling the unimportant as urgent until a revaluation, no! A revelation of relevance relabeled me, 

And look I am reborn!

But the cup is now half empty, but I am not sad because there is still a thirst to be quenched and a cup for me.

Then there’s her…
Why are you afraid to be who you really are in front of others 

Make sure they love all of you, even your shadow

She does…

And I love her back.

I remember all of the things I went without just to be with

Even the stars burn out after so long 

Love cycles/Hate cycles

You can live forever if you never existed, god

At the end of every week, every month, every year…

A new one! 

Since birth I have been propelled forward from the past, I have been happy, been bitter, been blessed, been loved, been lost, but never better than I am right now to close my eyes and drift from this gift 

Wherever you’re going
Have fun and take care