Ferris Wheel

Baby lets skip town…

Baby lets skip town and see things we never saw before

And do things we’ll never do again

A place where no one at all keeps score 

And knowing a friend of a friend is how we’ll get in
Baby we’re going…

Baby we’re going and I’m full of fright

We might get lost and never make it 

Quiet down, the wolves hunt at night,  

And a promise is a promise, don’t you ever break it
Baby we’re here…

Baby we’re here and I have no clue what to say

Other than things are still a mess 

Oh we came all this way

When in all honesty, 

we really should have never left

No Anchors


I feel like sometimes life is full of tentacles and these tentacles are commitments that we attach ourselves to over time and throughout our lives. These attachments have the capability to weigh us down eventually. That’s every promise inked in blood, deeper and deeper into the mud you go. That’s not to say that all commitment is terrible, and in fact, some build character and define us. But in the same breath I don’t want to be defined by the things I own on the outside, I want to be defined by everything I hold on the inside. It’s this beautiful gift called memories that really allow me to float when things feel too heavy. Even if I don’t have you, I had you. That’s what really matters. In life you’re supposed to get things right the first time, but more than likely the first time we won’t get things right. Maybe that’s where the idea of G*d comes in. In the mistakes and inherit nature of being human and how mistakes mean death for those we feel lesser than us, even sometimes those that look just like us. G*d can be many things to many people, but the concept of a higher power filling in the gaps to things we can’t fathom, process, or have answers to…

Your dreams, sponsored by:

Cash ruins everything around me, its green get the money, corporations rule all. To be completely transparent, sports is not as exciting as it once was growing up, a lot has changed, and this is typically due to the amount of ridiculous rules that have been introduced over the years. You breathe on someone wrong in basketball and it’s a foul. I grew up a 49ers fan, Steve young Jerry Rice days, and when I mean I loved every sport, I loved every sport. I knew every player on every team, this was the era you would find Kerry Kittles in the program for the starting line up at the continental arena, which brings me to the focus of this rant, the 2017-2018 NBA upcoming season. 

Humans have a way of solving problems and then creating more in the process. I understand that everything needs to evolve to survive but honestly for the sake of survival does corporate advertisement have to seep into every section of life? I’m truly sick of seeing name brand everything sucking the enjoyment out of everything left. Every special moment it seems is just another opportunity to be exploited by advertisement, and THAT SHIT IS EVERYWHERE. I’m not saying advertising doesn’t have its place, but lately it’s been out of control. For the NBA it’s going to start small with the patch, but pretty soon it will be littered like soccer jerseys. I don’t want to take my son or daughter to games to watch the New York Aquafinas because the New York Knicks or Yankees name and logo weren’t in the best interest of corporate advertisement. Sometimes you just have to say no in the interest of the brand of humanity. 

Pablo Escobar Picasso 

(October 5 2015)

(April 18 2017)

A kiss like this is the essence of existence….
Women like you just need hugs and drugs….
Look at “bullshit” creeping around the corner, I see you…. and I’m going the other way. Always a petition to get my attention, no we can’t be friends, aqquintences or anything of the sort, nothing. I don’t know you, I DONT WANT TO KNOW YOU. 
I’ve always been more interested connecting with humans on a more human level, take away the decadence, the extras, the money, the busyness, like Picasso’s theory of the bull, just the essentials of what makes being human….actually human. 
I’ve never been less interested in the unnecessary excess baggage some humans fuse their soul with and project into the world. Why is it hard to separate us from our things, or our place in society from our personal beliefs? When did personal opinions become the law of the land. Life for the longest time has been chemistry, but what does that actually mean? What are the basic elements of what it means to be human? Remove ethics, the “what’s innately right or wrong” argument, materialism, convenience and what is left? Has what it means to be a person been so far removed from us because of everything we have diluted our existence with? We worry about Starbucks, the new iPhone and what our coworkers think about us, but what does that even matter? Is worrying about new stuff and validation from others, all life is meant to be? Genuine sentiment in examination … Maybe it’s not about the “what someone did” but maybe it’s the “why someone did” what they did. Maybe justice shouldn’t be how well you can sell your innocence to 12. We are quick to crucify but claim we believe in karma and don’t give karma time to cook. Is there a higher power or is this all happenchance? 

The kid that never was

(Written-September 28,2015)

(Written-April 13th, 2017)

Sometimes you just have to go with no direction and no plans purely just to wage war against stagnation. Tommorow has always been my problem, because when I get there, there’s always another one as far as I know. Days to weeks, weeks to months, months to etc… You understand. I wasn’t blessed with the gift to be two places at once or see multiple outcomes of different dicisions, I can only see what I did yesterday or yesteryear and then maybe adjust my course ahead after reviewing everything in hindsight. All of us are pilgramiging to death and someone decided to linearly chronograph everything until we get there, perhaps to know if we have enough time to wait at chipotle before we kick the big bucket. Would not knowing an approximate time of how much life you have left with age make you more or less worried? How important is everything? Your friends, your stuff, to know that one day all of those memories you have, you’ll take with you, albeit the photographs and video the random number of years they stay around until they’re forgotten too. Is trying extending your presence on this planet, past your presence, worth the trouble? Maybe life is like the wind, it’s there, you feel it and before you know it, it’s gone until the next wind comes along. How about turning into stars when we die, just to see what we miss after we’re gone. Imagine everyone that died before the cell phone was invited or the holy grail of all inventions this time period, “the internet”. Life can be a big bag of everything and nothing at the same time and even though I ask why all of the time, I’m grateful to be here.  

Eternal exchange 


Work harder when today doesn’t bring anything better than yesterday
I think my problem is loving people who don’t love me back
Let’s get really high together, I’ll tell you my secrets if you tell me yours

I’m up right now, I’ll be down again 
Beach kids really aren’t that different from street kids 
Stare at the same sun sometimes, hope we don’t go blind 

Live life like you’re on vacation

(Written: February 5,2015)

(Today March 25,2017)

Hearing the word vacation evokes emotions that I’m pretty sure releases dopamine into your body. It’s life’s orgasm from the mundane. Is there anyone that doesn’t like vacation? How can you not like taking a break from deadlines and expectations from life? I wonder why more people actually don’t live their life like they’re on vacation. What I mean by that is exploring. Going on vacation doesn’t mean trips to Europe every six months, but I mean having your inner self go on vacation. It’s a great feeling, experiencing new food, places, activities. Most people on vacation turn into more impulsive versions of themselves, they really let their hair down, why not be that way about life all of the time? Taking risks are necessary when you want to live life. When you think about the probability of you actually having a chance to live, you have to cherish and utilize every moment of it. I’ll explain. Your parents are 2 people out of millions, who at one specific time decided to have sex at the right moment, and out of millions of other possible sperm you got there first. You could have been skeeted into a sock, napkin, throat or anus. You grew and didn’t die in the womb or during birth. You weren’t born an animal and have to worry about hunting for food or even worse being hunted to become food. You grew up and get to experience consciousness and self awareness and your most interesting hobbies are watching reality tv when you get off of work? Even more spectacular is you’re born during such a technologically advanced time period which only seems to be getting more advanced, that traveling and experiencing the world more has only gotten that much easier yet you rather find out what happens on a tv show with a fake cast of characters with a fake plot acting out a fake situation that never happened. Tv should only be used scarcely. I’m not saying television is bad but it should be used for filler time and never your main source of entertainment. It’s conditioning our generation to become that much dumber. How is it we as a species descend from scholars, aristocrats, great emperors and the like, yet we only care what crazy thing Miley Cyrus is doing this week? It scares me to know that if the world were to experience a devastating phenomenon, and we were left with the general population to rebuild, we would be beyond fucked. How many people watch tv and own a cell phone but don’t even understand the basics of how they work. Too many people are just “plug-and-go I don’t know” people. It’s important to at least understand a little about how the things we use work. I’m not advocating becoming a specialist in every area of knowing everything and becoming brainiacs, but honestly as life is progressing, the majority of people are being conditioned to become less intelligent.

What Love Feels Like

Written January 22 2015

Today March 16 2017

Love will always be intangible. We as humans need naturally try to make sense of everything we come in contact with so our brains can process certain concepts. I have this theory that my perception of what love is, is that it is intangible. It is one of the most valuable assets a person can own. It is the wind you cannot see but know is there, you can describe how it makes you feel and the effects of it but to actually have it manifest as something you can possess, something you can hold in your hand,is impossible. Love is your favorite color, your favorite movie, your favorite memory, your best friend. Love is more than a word, it is reason to keep believing. Love is trust. Love is knowing someone else cares about you the same way they care about themselves. Love is the person you see in your head who you cannot imagine a life apart from. Love finds perfection in imperfection. Love is your favorite smell, love is your favorite sweater. Love is life.

Philosophy on Failure


January 7th 2015

Today: march 4th 2017

“Lost time is never found (again)” – Benjamin Franklin. Wasted time is never salvaged. When you lose, you can either have one of two resulting outlooks. You either let the loser mentality soak in and you become the personification of the word “loser” or you learn from your loss. It’s amazing that we as flawed human beings believe we will never falter in our journey in life, so as a result we take certain steps to avoid rejection, losing, falling down and fucking up. We never ask that attractive person out, never pursue the dream career, never take that vacation we feel we deserve because we believe inevitably something will go wrong and we will have to deal with “I told you so” from other people. These “other people” are cancer. They throw nets of negativity hoping to drag anyone down within reach. The scary part is they can be anyone at anytime, even family. The devil isn’t going to knock on your door with bad breath, horns and red skin, because you wouldn’t even open the door would you? He is going to be in the best outfit with the biggest smile. It’s easier to kill someone who trusts you with their life, than someone who has their guard up. Your dreams, your goals, your aspirations are your life. Your life is going to have bumps, you’re going to break down, but it’s how you deal with it is ultimately going to determine how far you’re going to go to get to your destination in life. Personally I try to learn something new everyday. Life has shown me that it is an accumulation of everything over time rather than just waking up and having the world change for you on a whim. That is the case with anything great, it takes time, perseverance and endurance and failed attempts on the way.