Don’t burden others with your feared thoughts. 

Silly lilies

Balancing trying to stay afloat 

Getting ready to fall 

Waters thrashing against my throat

A hardened cement sensation builds up inside of she

Resisting to allow herself to feel is her damnation to be

Or feeling too much at once pushing difficulties on her, and surroundings of friends

She wouldn’t be able to force her retinas to see any end

Placing hands upon eyes, 

Then hips upon thighs

To a full stop just to notice she has trouble getting back to who she was

That’s the kind of arrogance that seeps into one’s mind when love comes 

Distance and time can make an individual grow impatient

Aroused with anger and nervousness of being forgotten

That she had lost the whole blueprint to a solution 

A blueprint she had helped to create

Now sudden tsunamis grow in her abdomen with hate

Not that she wanted it that way

But jealousy makes it easy to push anyone away 

A little point and time in reality she becomes less saddened 

But one thought without someone in the picture is something she can’t imagine to happen 

Quiet thoughts, unable to speak freely to the one she loves 

To keep cautious, prevents issues with her tongue in a glove

Closed mouth

Jaw locked

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What do these memories mean?


The same way I invite people in to ruin my life

I can find purpose in the pain if I work through it 

You see the best in people 

I expect the worst 

Can we meet somewhere in the middle 

The only other option was death or a dull life, I kept going

Never fall victim to the vices set before you, posted at every milestone

Forever uncomfortable 

living in-between the lines 

Funny how people never get around to living life 

The spider, the fly, and the witness 

Looking back at the life you never had 

It’ll eat you alive in the end.

The human condition and west of division

Fighting over parking spots and other frivolous things. The DNA in most humans is actually quite terrible. The longing to have your name live on long after you’re gone. Beast in a flesh cage. Livewires grounded by the realities of humanity. Impermanence. Fear and loathing spread past Las Vegas. If you take a step back you can see the beauty in it all. Everything perfect in all the imperfections. But where do we go from here? Life. A puzzle perpetually unsolved. Every generation given a new chance to answer. Silence still. There are those of us who have the answer. Silence still. Because to answer is belonging to question. To question is to suggest an origin. An origin. A beginning. A beginning, an end. Having the answers to questions solves problems. Life may have many, and may no one find it. So that it may keep going. 

The end of the world can wait 

I’m here 

Firefly

There’s something subtly intimidating about this woman, fully aware of herself, how beautiful she is, as well as how much she knows and understands. It’s dark where I came from, but I don’t believe that’s the reason why she’s here. The absence of light in my world made it easier to find her, she was glowing like some stars certain souls seek to see on the playground. There are millions of creative critiques dedicated to detailing women that lovers have loved, will love, and will never love again, but it’s different when these words are yours, the time is hers, and the love is ours. 

More fascinated with this firefly than many other avenues that bid my attention , I can’t help but to notice how beautiful you are. Flashing light against a falling sky, you helped me capture a perfect picture in the wake of dying day and new night. 

Your face fills my heart with hope knowing that someone so beautiful belongs to this world. It’s in your dishevelment and distance from make up that has me fixated and incessantly infatuated. Under your skin is a tinge of luminescence, you light up and I cannot look away. If I am to be bound by mortality, I pray to every god imaginable and unknown that in the journey through eternity I am blessed with more encounters with your soul. 

Always and Forever, I love you(r glow)

Summer sunsets at 7:45pm


Burn in hell
An end to your human experience is inevitable, but how you go and where you go is still up for debate. Does pain and pleasure really get triggered by the same censors? I’m not trying to raise hell like some cenobite but why does each extreme feel so extraordinary on opposing ends of the spectrum? A cut, an orgasm, a death, a birth. 
Burn in hell
Are you afraid of what you cannot see and don’t know? I’ve been human for so long, almost all my life. I’ve been plagued with affinities and tendencies which another human will gladly justify my obsession and aid in my quest for the indulgence of these pleasures. Decadence. But lately the pendulum stopped swinging and is stuck. It’s stuck on pain and everything hurts. How can I explain this? Have you ever processed what it really means for something to be over? 
Burn in hell
The “wrath of god” is an amazing phrase. It takes the idea of this super being inflicting immense physical pain typically through the use of a medium. The idea of physical pain is enough to scare the simple. Pain is something we understand since we’re young. You do wrong, pow pow time, see? Simple. Now take that simple mind and tell them it’s infinite pow pow time (please explain what infinite means to the child so they can grasp what’s going on). You see how you mitigated the inherent evil just by extending the punishment indefinitely. B-R-I-L-L-I-A-N-T! 
Burn in hell
I came back from hell to tell you that there are no fires, no torture chambers, no bodies of blood, horrible screams or anything of the like. There’s just silence. The silence slips over your entire body and engulfs your soul in a sense of dread unlike anything you’ve felt on earth. You begin to feel yourself cry for no reason at all, but no one hears you, it’s dark and you can’t even hear yourself. You begin to panic. Where is everyone and everything that you’ve grown to love. The memories you made on earth are gone and you’re unsure of who you are. You feel your hands in front of you, your pupils dilate to catch any light to reassure that these are indeed your hands, but blackness is the only sight that registers. You feel desperation flip to fear and fear to agony all in what seems to be mere seconds. You begin to cry again. All you’re wishing for now is to hear the sound of your own voice but the heavy silence snuffs out any audible escape from within. You’re going to be here awhile. To burn is to actually feel, and wishes aren’t granted in hell. To burn for an eternity would be a pleasure in comparison. 

The bull and the Lilly of the valley

She grows so weary of herself. She begins to see the confusion within her heart and soul. You see, the two are opposites, when they shouldn’t be. Her heart shields itself by not allowing her to break through verbally but rather physically, so that transfers to her brain, making it hard to decipher the significance of her emotions. 

The dilemma in her life are the bars that remain firmly planted on her heart. There’s a secret to these bars and her emotions. Within these bars lie millions of electrical shocks, called fear; she fears and expects the worst from people, and yet her heart and mind continue to amplify with trust, while fear always had a funny way of showing up in her life’s endeavors, those electrical bars clench tight, hence making her heart and mind deviagate from trusting and loving with positivity. 

Her lungs become deadly, the bars suddenly stretch out to them, forming a human’s hand that’s squeezes a sponge without difficulty. Her breaths become shallow, and her neck tenses up becoming a brick within her body that is rattled by her heart’s desire to expand. 

Her legs become her worst enemy. They disrespect gravity and collapse as she forces her self to walk on in life. Yet, she still arises; and in that moment, her fingers become numb, and her stomach becomes stronger than the currents from all seven seas combined.


She gives herself a few silent moments to reflect on her body’s malfunction. Then she gets up! As if it never happened. She’s still weary, and a little more wiser than she was yesterday. 

She stares into the mirror, and wonders what may be a problem within her image. Until she realizes there’s none to point out. She smiles and realizes her body isn’t the dilemma, she then feels the bars loosen, just before she becomes aware that they’re clenching once again. As she tries to work on her heart, it grows weak with fear and loathing of the challenges that her emotions put her through. 

She walks with so much pride, and respect for herself, she knows she’s beautiful in her own way. She sees her worth, yet she’s troubled and scared. 

Her goal in life, is to be freer than birds when they fly, she holds herself tight yet wants to open herself up. 

She doesn’t know how. Because the bars clench harder every time she’s happy. They give her reasons to doubt, to not trust, to assume, and to contradict. 

Her tears become puddles of her own reflection, the only difference is, while she cries, she visualized how things could’ve have gone so much better, had it not been for the electrical bars. 

She works on herself daily, she wakes up in the morning with positive thoughts, yet there the bars are every morning waiting for her heart to beat a little faster than it normally would, because that’s what fear does to you. 

She’s used to letting go of things, people, and situations, because she’s never been the kind of individual to dwell on a lot. She fears crying because in her upbringing, she realized that others have held things in, and that maybe, somehow, it would be normal to execute that in her life, which brought in her build up. But when her heart finds just a little more room to dilate just a tad bit more, she gives her best shots at fighting her own electrical bars, because she is aware that these certain things, people, and situations can be apart of a greater meaning of life, and she holds them so close and dearly, while pushing the the limited bars out more to love them so hard. 

Yet, the bars await. 

Waiting for my idols to die

As Saturday falls into Sunday I don’t want to be celebrated

I want to be appreciated 

I’m so anxious, 

Millions of cells with a thought for each one 

Who am I going to ruin my life over today

And in what way

And then I stop myself

These were my younger years

I don’t expect you to understand me

But I respect that you try

I’ve made a habit of labeling the unimportant as urgent until a revaluation, no! A revelation of relevance relabeled me, 

And look I am reborn!

But the cup is now half empty, but I am not sad because there is still a thirst to be quenched and a cup for me.

Then there’s her…
Why are you afraid to be who you really are in front of others 

Make sure they love all of you, even your shadow

She does…

And I love her back.

I remember all of the things I went without just to be with

Even the stars burn out after so long 

Love cycles/Hate cycles

You can live forever if you never existed, god

At the end of every week, every month, every year…

A new one! 

Since birth I have been propelled forward from the past, I have been happy, been bitter, been blessed, been loved, been lost, but never better than I am right now to close my eyes and drift from this gift 

Wherever you’re going
Have fun and take care

Ferris Wheel

Baby lets skip town…

Baby lets skip town and see things we never saw before

And do things we’ll never do again

A place where no one at all keeps score 

And knowing a friend of a friend is how we’ll get in
Baby we’re going…

Baby we’re going and I’m full of fright

We might get lost and never make it 

Quiet down, the wolves hunt at night,  

And a promise is a promise, don’t you ever break it
Baby we’re here…

Baby we’re here and I have no clue what to say

Other than things are still a mess 

Oh we came all this way

When in all honesty, 

we really should have never left

The essence of an alleyway 


We were family, now we are food

I love you but… 

The rent is due and

Rome is falling

Pillars plummet 

And villages pillage

I’m in love.

I don’t know if I’ll get to you in time,

I pray on our future,

while they prey on our past,

memories into memoirs

Please never forget me.

There are so many ways to say I love you,

But what I really wish for is to never lose you

Sick, sad, cold and alone.

I see horrific things when I close my eyes,

But feel at home when you hold me.

Your love is out of this world,

And so are the others.

Loop.