Ferris Wheel

Baby lets skip town…

Baby lets skip town and see things we never saw before

And do things we’ll never do again

A place where no one at all keeps score 

And knowing a friend of a friend is how we’ll get in
Baby we’re going…

Baby we’re going and I’m full of fright

We might get lost and never make it 

Quiet down, the wolves hunt at night,  

And a promise is a promise, don’t you ever break it
Baby we’re here…

Baby we’re here and I have no clue what to say

Other than things are still a mess 

Oh we came all this way

When in all honesty, 

we really should have never left

The essence of an alleyway 


We were family, now we are food

I love you but… 

The rent is due and

Rome is falling

Pillars plummet 

And villages pillage

I’m in love.

I don’t know if I’ll get to you in time,

I pray on our future,

while they prey on our past,

memories into memoirs

Please never forget me.

There are so many ways to say I love you,

But what I really wish for is to never lose you

Sick, sad, cold and alone.

I see horrific things when I close my eyes,

But feel at home when you hold me.

Your love is out of this world,

And so are the others.

Loop. 

Pablo Escobar Picasso 

(October 5 2015)

(April 18 2017)

A kiss like this is the essence of existence….
Women like you just need hugs and drugs….
Look at “bullshit” creeping around the corner, I see you…. and I’m going the other way. Always a petition to get my attention, no we can’t be friends, aqquintences or anything of the sort, nothing. I don’t know you, I DONT WANT TO KNOW YOU. 
I’ve always been more interested connecting with humans on a more human level, take away the decadence, the extras, the money, the busyness, like Picasso’s theory of the bull, just the essentials of what makes being human….actually human. 
I’ve never been less interested in the unnecessary excess baggage some humans fuse their soul with and project into the world. Why is it hard to separate us from our things, or our place in society from our personal beliefs? When did personal opinions become the law of the land. Life for the longest time has been chemistry, but what does that actually mean? What are the basic elements of what it means to be human? Remove ethics, the “what’s innately right or wrong” argument, materialism, convenience and what is left? Has what it means to be a person been so far removed from us because of everything we have diluted our existence with? We worry about Starbucks, the new iPhone and what our coworkers think about us, but what does that even matter? Is worrying about new stuff and validation from others, all life is meant to be? Genuine sentiment in examination … Maybe it’s not about the “what someone did” but maybe it’s the “why someone did” what they did. Maybe justice shouldn’t be how well you can sell your innocence to 12. We are quick to crucify but claim we believe in karma and don’t give karma time to cook. Is there a higher power or is this all happenchance? 

The kid that never was

(Written-September 28,2015)

(Written-April 13th, 2017)

Sometimes you just have to go with no direction and no plans purely just to wage war against stagnation. Tommorow has always been my problem, because when I get there, there’s always another one as far as I know. Days to weeks, weeks to months, months to etc… You understand. I wasn’t blessed with the gift to be two places at once or see multiple outcomes of different dicisions, I can only see what I did yesterday or yesteryear and then maybe adjust my course ahead after reviewing everything in hindsight. All of us are pilgramiging to death and someone decided to linearly chronograph everything until we get there, perhaps to know if we have enough time to wait at chipotle before we kick the big bucket. Would not knowing an approximate time of how much life you have left with age make you more or less worried? How important is everything? Your friends, your stuff, to know that one day all of those memories you have, you’ll take with you, albeit the photographs and video the random number of years they stay around until they’re forgotten too. Is trying extending your presence on this planet, past your presence, worth the trouble? Maybe life is like the wind, it’s there, you feel it and before you know it, it’s gone until the next wind comes along. How about turning into stars when we die, just to see what we miss after we’re gone. Imagine everyone that died before the cell phone was invited or the holy grail of all inventions this time period, “the internet”. Life can be a big bag of everything and nothing at the same time and even though I ask why all of the time, I’m grateful to be here.  

Eternal exchange 


Work harder when today doesn’t bring anything better than yesterday
I think my problem is loving people who don’t love me back
Let’s get really high together, I’ll tell you my secrets if you tell me yours

I’m up right now, I’ll be down again 
Beach kids really aren’t that different from street kids 
Stare at the same sun sometimes, hope we don’t go blind 

Boxed water, glassed milk and The power of incessant suggestion

(Written FEBRUARY 10, 2015 ~ Today march 29 2017)
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him. – Voltaire 
Why do people who believe stupid things, pseudo sciences, and astrology. People will base their entire interactions with someone they have never met just based on their astrological sign. Why is that okay? Axial precession exists and the shift from the wobble has everyone’s designated signs thrown off, but tell that to someone who swears up and down the stars know their fate. People feel it’s okay to complain about the way someone does something but won’t make an active effort to contribute to fixing what they complain about. People are so fast to bash everything without giving any thought to anything. It’s crazy how many people give bad yelp reviews and never have eaten at that restaurant but only heard what their friend has told them about it. It’s crazy how people can make up stories about things that never happened so easily. Our generation thinks everything they don’t understand is trash. People are lazy. People want other people to tell them what they should be doing. People want medals and notoriety for doing absolutely nothing. It’s the reason why so many arts are diluted with garbage craftsmanship as of recently. We as a generation praise the extremely untalented just so “no one feels left out”. What that does is make people stop putting in an effort to do better to perfect the craft because if I do a half-assed job and get the same reward as if I actually worked hard, why would I ever work harder to get the same praise? Everyone suffers because you have the mediocre being celebrated as great when they are far from it. People also feel they can do no work and get results like they did the work. Instant gratification for everything. How many prude ugly fat people do you see today with the highest of standards? Everyone. It’s crazy to think you can be a sloppy 400 pound female and desire an in shape partner who is the man of your dreams, and deny anyone who doesn’t fit that criteria in your head. Everything is getting worse. The mentality of people is declining. Care, effort and practice are gone out of the window. The majority of this generation drove the English language to shit with slang. Slang is a derivative, how do you not know the basics of the initial language. The majority of men can’t change a tire and majority of females can’t cook. We’ve lost all bearings to the basics but feel like we are superstars for knowing absolutely nothing.

Live life like you’re on vacation

(Written: February 5,2015)

(Today March 25,2017)

Hearing the word vacation evokes emotions that I’m pretty sure releases dopamine into your body. It’s life’s orgasm from the mundane. Is there anyone that doesn’t like vacation? How can you not like taking a break from deadlines and expectations from life? I wonder why more people actually don’t live their life like they’re on vacation. What I mean by that is exploring. Going on vacation doesn’t mean trips to Europe every six months, but I mean having your inner self go on vacation. It’s a great feeling, experiencing new food, places, activities. Most people on vacation turn into more impulsive versions of themselves, they really let their hair down, why not be that way about life all of the time? Taking risks are necessary when you want to live life. When you think about the probability of you actually having a chance to live, you have to cherish and utilize every moment of it. I’ll explain. Your parents are 2 people out of millions, who at one specific time decided to have sex at the right moment, and out of millions of other possible sperm you got there first. You could have been skeeted into a sock, napkin, throat or anus. You grew and didn’t die in the womb or during birth. You weren’t born an animal and have to worry about hunting for food or even worse being hunted to become food. You grew up and get to experience consciousness and self awareness and your most interesting hobbies are watching reality tv when you get off of work? Even more spectacular is you’re born during such a technologically advanced time period which only seems to be getting more advanced, that traveling and experiencing the world more has only gotten that much easier yet you rather find out what happens on a tv show with a fake cast of characters with a fake plot acting out a fake situation that never happened. Tv should only be used scarcely. I’m not saying television is bad but it should be used for filler time and never your main source of entertainment. It’s conditioning our generation to become that much dumber. How is it we as a species descend from scholars, aristocrats, great emperors and the like, yet we only care what crazy thing Miley Cyrus is doing this week? It scares me to know that if the world were to experience a devastating phenomenon, and we were left with the general population to rebuild, we would be beyond fucked. How many people watch tv and own a cell phone but don’t even understand the basics of how they work. Too many people are just “plug-and-go I don’t know” people. It’s important to at least understand a little about how the things we use work. I’m not advocating becoming a specialist in every area of knowing everything and becoming brainiacs, but honestly as life is progressing, the majority of people are being conditioned to become less intelligent.

Real Men Hit Women

(In retrospect, this was my first “clickbait” headline and I didn’t even realize it, semi-rant)

(Written: feb 3,2015)

(Today: march 24,2017)

If you were not born a man, DO NOT have a concrete definition on what being a man is, it’s that simple. You’re not a “real man” falls under many poverty bitch inspired mantras like “I’m a grown ass woman.” If you have to inject profanity and bad grammar into descriptions about yourself, it automatically disqualifies you as a mature adult. Too many females feel they can get away with murder. In what lifetime can you agitate, become an aggressor, strike another human being and expect the patience and loving kindness of Jesus to be bestowed upon you. In a perfect world, no one should put their hands on anyone. Are you that mentally incompetent? You can either express yourself in a disagreement calmly or just calmly diffuse a frivolous argument and walk away. No argument between adults ever should have to result in a psychical altercation, however; man, woman, tranny or animal, if you decide to strike me, be prepared for me to swing for the sky. Too many times do I hear the cry for equality, yet you equally cannot control your emotions to the point you feel it’s okay to hit someone. Don’t cry equality because you want to sleep with everyone and be labeled a stronger woman for being a whore. There needs to be a “human standard” not a biological gender role standard that has been antiquated for quite some time now. Common decency and common sense. Common sense says I should not walk down an alley in the bad area of town in nothing on but a thong and bra because …. Welp there’s a higher chance bad shit might happen, yet feminism would like to advocate for these ditzy bitches like even though she precipitated every dumb thing you can do in that situation “she wasn’t asking for it.” Are you fucking kidding me? I don’t know everyone’s parents but growing up everyone should have been taught if you hang out with certain people, wear certain clothes, people might label you as apart of a certain group whether you are or are not. People judge other people every day. We don’t live in a perfect world. This is not a man vs woman issue. It is an issue dealing with doing what makes sense in certain situations. I believe in Darwinism and believe ethics are what allowed idiots to continue breeding for so long. Society can move towards a path of a possible utopian society IF we would realize we are only as strong as our weakest link in society. That leaves us either with genuinely helping the people who struggle to do better overall as a human being or cutting them off all together. Give a man a job and show him how to earn a dollar rather than giving him a dollar and letting him squander it away. I would hope to see a day were people really do care about social issues collectively but honestly just don’t see it happening at the rate this species operates.

What Love Feels Like

Written January 22 2015

Today March 16 2017

Love will always be intangible. We as humans need naturally try to make sense of everything we come in contact with so our brains can process certain concepts. I have this theory that my perception of what love is, is that it is intangible. It is one of the most valuable assets a person can own. It is the wind you cannot see but know is there, you can describe how it makes you feel and the effects of it but to actually have it manifest as something you can possess, something you can hold in your hand,is impossible. Love is your favorite color, your favorite movie, your favorite memory, your best friend. Love is more than a word, it is reason to keep believing. Love is trust. Love is knowing someone else cares about you the same way they care about themselves. Love is the person you see in your head who you cannot imagine a life apart from. Love finds perfection in imperfection. Love is your favorite smell, love is your favorite sweater. Love is life.