Ferris Wheel

Baby lets skip town…

Baby lets skip town and see things we never saw before

And do things we’ll never do again

A place where no one at all keeps score 

And knowing a friend of a friend is how we’ll get in
Baby we’re going…

Baby we’re going and I’m full of fright

We might get lost and never make it 

Quiet down, the wolves hunt at night,  

And a promise is a promise, don’t you ever break it
Baby we’re here…

Baby we’re here and I have no clue what to say

Other than things are still a mess 

Oh we came all this way

When in all honesty, 

we really should have never left

No Anchors

I feel like sometimes life is full of tentacles and these tentacles are commitments that we attach ourselves to over time and throughout our lives. These attachments have the capability to weigh us down eventually. That’s every promise inked in blood, deeper and deeper into the mud you go. That’s not to say that all commitment is terrible, and in fact, some build character and define us. But in the same breath I don’t want to be defined by the things I own on the outside, I want to be defined by everything I hold on the inside. It’s this beautiful gift called memories that really allow me to float when things feel too heavy. Even if I don’t have you, I had you. That’s what really matters. In life you’re supposed to get things right the first time, but more than likely the first time we won’t get things right. Maybe that’s where the idea of G*d comes in. In the mistakes and inherit nature of being human and how mistakes mean death for those we feel lesser than us, even sometimes those that look just like us. G*d can be many things to many people, but the concept of a higher power filling in the gaps to things we can’t fathom, process, or have answers to…

The essence of an alleyway 

We were family, now we are food

I love you but… 

The rent is due and

Rome is falling

Pillars plummet 

And villages pillage

I’m in love.

I don’t know if I’ll get to you in time,

I pray on our future,

while they prey on our past,

memories into memoirs

Please never forget me.

There are so many ways to say I love you,

But what I really wish for is to never lose you

Sick, sad, cold and alone.

I see horrific things when I close my eyes,

But feel at home when you hold me.

Your love is out of this world,

And so are the others.


Public School

I wonder why we never learned law in school 

Algebra and geometry for most kids who just worry about getting an annual raise based on their performance at what’s really just another job, diapers aren’t cheap and I think she’s cheating, I’m not sure

I wonder why they never teach us how to love, or not to divorce at the first sign of problems, why not teach us how to fall out of love too

Why not teach us about managing our money, saving more than you spend, how to be polite to other people and let things go, 

They don’t teach us taxes or how to deal with dying from cancer, or how not to die from cancer 

That even though u don’t want to, you still have to go 

What about buying a car, a house?

12 years of school and when I graduate I don’t have any of the basic fundamentals that are required to be an average adult

Oh well

Boxed water, glassed milk and The power of incessant suggestion

(Written FEBRUARY 10, 2015 ~ Today march 29 2017)
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him. – Voltaire 
Why do people who believe stupid things, pseudo sciences, and astrology. People will base their entire interactions with someone they have never met just based on their astrological sign. Why is that okay? Axial precession exists and the shift from the wobble has everyone’s designated signs thrown off, but tell that to someone who swears up and down the stars know their fate. People feel it’s okay to complain about the way someone does something but won’t make an active effort to contribute to fixing what they complain about. People are so fast to bash everything without giving any thought to anything. It’s crazy how many people give bad yelp reviews and never have eaten at that restaurant but only heard what their friend has told them about it. It’s crazy how people can make up stories about things that never happened so easily. Our generation thinks everything they don’t understand is trash. People are lazy. People want other people to tell them what they should be doing. People want medals and notoriety for doing absolutely nothing. It’s the reason why so many arts are diluted with garbage craftsmanship as of recently. We as a generation praise the extremely untalented just so “no one feels left out”. What that does is make people stop putting in an effort to do better to perfect the craft because if I do a half-assed job and get the same reward as if I actually worked hard, why would I ever work harder to get the same praise? Everyone suffers because you have the mediocre being celebrated as great when they are far from it. People also feel they can do no work and get results like they did the work. Instant gratification for everything. How many prude ugly fat people do you see today with the highest of standards? Everyone. It’s crazy to think you can be a sloppy 400 pound female and desire an in shape partner who is the man of your dreams, and deny anyone who doesn’t fit that criteria in your head. Everything is getting worse. The mentality of people is declining. Care, effort and practice are gone out of the window. The majority of this generation drove the English language to shit with slang. Slang is a derivative, how do you not know the basics of the initial language. The majority of men can’t change a tire and majority of females can’t cook. We’ve lost all bearings to the basics but feel like we are superstars for knowing absolutely nothing.

Live life like you’re on vacation

(Written: February 5,2015)

(Today March 25,2017)

Hearing the word vacation evokes emotions that I’m pretty sure releases dopamine into your body. It’s life’s orgasm from the mundane. Is there anyone that doesn’t like vacation? How can you not like taking a break from deadlines and expectations from life? I wonder why more people actually don’t live their life like they’re on vacation. What I mean by that is exploring. Going on vacation doesn’t mean trips to Europe every six months, but I mean having your inner self go on vacation. It’s a great feeling, experiencing new food, places, activities. Most people on vacation turn into more impulsive versions of themselves, they really let their hair down, why not be that way about life all of the time? Taking risks are necessary when you want to live life. When you think about the probability of you actually having a chance to live, you have to cherish and utilize every moment of it. I’ll explain. Your parents are 2 people out of millions, who at one specific time decided to have sex at the right moment, and out of millions of other possible sperm you got there first. You could have been skeeted into a sock, napkin, throat or anus. You grew and didn’t die in the womb or during birth. You weren’t born an animal and have to worry about hunting for food or even worse being hunted to become food. You grew up and get to experience consciousness and self awareness and your most interesting hobbies are watching reality tv when you get off of work? Even more spectacular is you’re born during such a technologically advanced time period which only seems to be getting more advanced, that traveling and experiencing the world more has only gotten that much easier yet you rather find out what happens on a tv show with a fake cast of characters with a fake plot acting out a fake situation that never happened. Tv should only be used scarcely. I’m not saying television is bad but it should be used for filler time and never your main source of entertainment. It’s conditioning our generation to become that much dumber. How is it we as a species descend from scholars, aristocrats, great emperors and the like, yet we only care what crazy thing Miley Cyrus is doing this week? It scares me to know that if the world were to experience a devastating phenomenon, and we were left with the general population to rebuild, we would be beyond fucked. How many people watch tv and own a cell phone but don’t even understand the basics of how they work. Too many people are just “plug-and-go I don’t know” people. It’s important to at least understand a little about how the things we use work. I’m not advocating becoming a specialist in every area of knowing everything and becoming brainiacs, but honestly as life is progressing, the majority of people are being conditioned to become less intelligent.

What Love Feels Like

Written January 22 2015

Today March 16 2017

Love will always be intangible. We as humans need naturally try to make sense of everything we come in contact with so our brains can process certain concepts. I have this theory that my perception of what love is, is that it is intangible. It is one of the most valuable assets a person can own. It is the wind you cannot see but know is there, you can describe how it makes you feel and the effects of it but to actually have it manifest as something you can possess, something you can hold in your hand,is impossible. Love is your favorite color, your favorite movie, your favorite memory, your best friend. Love is more than a word, it is reason to keep believing. Love is trust. Love is knowing someone else cares about you the same way they care about themselves. Love is the person you see in your head who you cannot imagine a life apart from. Love finds perfection in imperfection. Love is your favorite smell, love is your favorite sweater. Love is life.

Philosophy on Failure

January 7th 2015

Today: march 4th 2017

“Lost time is never found (again)” – Benjamin Franklin. Wasted time is never salvaged. When you lose, you can either have one of two resulting outlooks. You either let the loser mentality soak in and you become the personification of the word “loser” or you learn from your loss. It’s amazing that we as flawed human beings believe we will never falter in our journey in life, so as a result we take certain steps to avoid rejection, losing, falling down and fucking up. We never ask that attractive person out, never pursue the dream career, never take that vacation we feel we deserve because we believe inevitably something will go wrong and we will have to deal with “I told you so” from other people. These “other people” are cancer. They throw nets of negativity hoping to drag anyone down within reach. The scary part is they can be anyone at anytime, even family. The devil isn’t going to knock on your door with bad breath, horns and red skin, because you wouldn’t even open the door would you? He is going to be in the best outfit with the biggest smile. It’s easier to kill someone who trusts you with their life, than someone who has their guard up. Your dreams, your goals, your aspirations are your life. Your life is going to have bumps, you’re going to break down, but it’s how you deal with it is ultimately going to determine how far you’re going to go to get to your destination in life. Personally I try to learn something new everyday. Life has shown me that it is an accumulation of everything over time rather than just waking up and having the world change for you on a whim. That is the case with anything great, it takes time, perseverance and endurance and failed attempts on the way.