The human condition and west of division

Fighting over parking spots and other frivolous things. The DNA in most humans is actually quite terrible. The longing to have your name live on long after you’re gone. Beast in a flesh cage. Livewires grounded by the realities of humanity. Impermanence. Fear and loathing spread past Las Vegas. If you take a step back you can see the beauty in it all. Everything perfect in all the imperfections. But where do we go from here? Life. A puzzle perpetually unsolved. Every generation given a new chance to answer. Silence still. There are those of us who have the answer. Silence still. Because to answer is belonging to question. To question is to suggest an origin. An origin. A beginning. A beginning, an end. Having the answers to questions solves problems. Life may have many, and may no one find it. So that it may keep going. 

The end of the world can wait 

I’m here 

Firefly

There’s something subtly intimidating about this woman, fully aware of herself, how beautiful she is, as well as how much she knows and understands. It’s dark where I came from, but I don’t believe that’s the reason why she’s here. The absence of light in my world made it easier to find her, she was glowing like some stars certain souls seek to see on the playground. There are millions of creative critiques dedicated to detailing women that lovers have loved, will love, and will never love again, but it’s different when these words are yours, the time is hers, and the love is ours. 

More fascinated with this firefly than many other avenues that bid my attention , I can’t help but to notice how beautiful you are. Flashing light against a falling sky, you helped me capture a perfect picture in the wake of dying day and new night. 

Your face fills my heart with hope knowing that someone so beautiful belongs to this world. It’s in your dishevelment and distance from make up that has me fixated and incessantly infatuated. Under your skin is a tinge of luminescence, you light up and I cannot look away. If I am to be bound by mortality, I pray to every god imaginable and unknown that in the journey through eternity I am blessed with more encounters with your soul. 

Always and Forever, I love you(r glow)

Waiting for my idols to die

As Saturday falls into Sunday I don’t want to be celebrated

I want to be appreciated 

I’m so anxious, 

Millions of cells with a thought for each one 

Who am I going to ruin my life over today

And in what way

And then I stop myself

These were my younger years

I don’t expect you to understand me

But I respect that you try

I’ve made a habit of labeling the unimportant as urgent until a revaluation, no! A revelation of relevance relabeled me, 

And look I am reborn!

But the cup is now half empty, but I am not sad because there is still a thirst to be quenched and a cup for me.

Then there’s her…
Why are you afraid to be who you really are in front of others 

Make sure they love all of you, even your shadow

She does…

And I love her back.

I remember all of the things I went without just to be with

Even the stars burn out after so long 

Love cycles/Hate cycles

You can live forever if you never existed, god

At the end of every week, every month, every year…

A new one! 

Since birth I have been propelled forward from the past, I have been happy, been bitter, been blessed, been loved, been lost, but never better than I am right now to close my eyes and drift from this gift 

Wherever you’re going
Have fun and take care

Gone Days 

Often do I have to stop and ask myself, do I understand what’s going on?

Then I go back into the world. A scurry here, and a scurry there, and then I realize I’m lost again in the precence of entities more interesting than I, where as I have no choice but to take seat in amazement. See when you see a star, you want to be a star, right away. All of the time it took to create such brilliance doesn’t matter at that moment.

I hope one day I’ll find everything that I’m looking for, I stopped trying to put everything I find into a bag, because beautiful things don’t belong in bags, but memories do, and I’ll keep them for as long as I keep this body, I know there’s a better place somewhere, and I don’t pray enough, or wish on shooting stars that much, but if I could have just one whisper answered, it would be to find you again, if there is an again, because it was so hard to smile before I met you, and I never want to stop feeling like how I feel now…. forever. 
(Painting by artist Leonora Carrington 1917-2011)

[Mirrors]

No time for clothes in the house,

 or anymore monday mornings in my life, 

Always alive at so dead an hour

Crypt walking

I’ve got the blues,

My eyes swell, the tears turn to blood, 

Again I realize I’m just a jester looking for a king’s love

These are my primary problems 

In a world where you’re only as good as your last, you’re not the better answer, but the best answer to a question that I wasn’t sure of how to answer

Late PMs, Early AMs,

Conversations in cars,

Sex and Smoke, 

and eyes as bright as the city lights at night

In this car we hold the keys to go everywhere we wish without the need to start an ignition, these conversations take me farther than this car could ever go, eyes closed, mouth open, mind open, hearts continue to race, don’t slow down, from wheels to wings, exhale the smoke and take off, us right here, beyond the reach of all, minds together elsewhere, our time together infinite, this love together infinite
 
This love won’t hold me over, 

And this love,

This love, our love,

is likened to leftover pizza,

Because you can find anything you want but don’t need in your life 

just like the leftover pizza 
in the fridge at 2am

Cheers to our time together on this planet, the most meaningful and meaningless entity I have ever had the grace to witness

Please forget me as soon as possible 

The feeling of falling out of love is watching a star die, a million miles away, knowing there’s nothing you can do aside from watch and know that everything related to it has ran it’s course. An easy contender for one of the most miserable feelings ever felt, because every night you would go out and make a wish on it, and the star would wish for your return every night. You went through the trouble of finding the star, searching a pitch black sea for forever, to only one night watch what took forever, disappear forever, without so much as an explanation. As an adult, you’re expected to get over these occurrences and deny ever believing in fairy tales of stars having any kind of relevance or meaningfulness to your existence, so as that star expired, a piece of you dies along with it, and you drag it along daily, weighing you down, hoping no one notices or sees, but they do. Nothing tastes the same, feels the same, and at the thought your eyes begin to glitter and glisten like your love in the sky once was. And everytime you tell yourself to not look for love in the sky, because it is something beautiful yet unattainable, you never listen, becuase a million miles away doesn’t look so far at night. Closer to the stars, closer to your dreams.